Happy Birthday To Me
Take a look at my I.D.It is from the DMV
My birth date is there to see
Please don't sing happy birthday to me
I cannot take getting older
I give birthdays the cold shoulder
This is more than I can take
Throw away the birthday cake
I don't need a gift or card
I am taking this quite hard
Age is just a number, right?
Then why does my hair turn white?
My back aches, I blame bursitis
My joints throb due to arthritis
How I hate these sad adventures
That I'll face wearing new dentures
Maybe I should take a jog
Before my arteries clog
It's hard to drive in a hurry
When your vision is too blurry
Getting old is a disgrace!
Look at my now wrinkly face!
I've even been brought to tears
Because hair grows from my ears!
Why does my memory fade?
Tell me, where's my hearing aid?
If you make fun of my pain
I will hit you with my cane!
All the names that I've been called
Just because I'm going bald!
My metabolism's slow
Frequently, I have to go!
That's a fact that makes me sadder
When I can't control my bladder
My stool must become more loose
That is why I drink prune juice
Getting old is not a joke
Listen good, before I croak!
I can see you're upset too
At least I'm younger than you!
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