Nuclear Dawn

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Emotional
    • mathiasthom
    • Not everyone follows textbook, cookie cutter poetry writing. What a boring read this site would be if that was the case...

    Nuclear Dawn
    Prehension ripping wide open skies
    missiles proliferate, videlicet: destruction,
    onerous buildings, shattered glass shells
    sirens echoing through alleyways forgotten

    Effigy smoldering,sulfurous goodbyes
    landscape altered, videlicet: war-like, twisted seduction
    dust and mortar, burnt umber limbs, broken hell
    a basilisk stone sentry fallen, coercive sanction, quite gotten

    Expired beings, videlicet: silenced, derelict, bitter cries
    girders jettison off the horizon,no form left, or function
    alienist surroundings, remnants, emptiness only dwells
    brackish pools of water,quite poisonous and rotten

    Hopelessness will not engender this sorrowful guise
    so many audacious features,videlicet: some diseased, rank junction
    arrived in this desolate fold, no spiritual litany to spell
    flowing on the skies, fiery trails of specter - like cotton

    Memories forgotten, videlicet: life, feelings, emptiness, lies
    in reversal, such tenacious candor,to meander in a world of de-construction
    no warnings,or insistent ringing of hallowed bells,
    sunken empty treasures, lost caches of Stotins

    mathiasthom
    written 3/12/09

    notes:

    contest entry

    Phyquain form conceived by Arkbear... Vocabulary references by BearWoman

    written 3/12/09

    words used:

    nouns: alienist,candor,effigy,prehension,litany
    verbs: jettison,meander,proliferate,engender,sanction
    adverbs: videlicet
    adjectives: audacious,basilisk,derelict,onerous,tenacious

    Stotin- is a monetary unit of Slovenia...Don't ask me how much, no clue!!!!

    This gave me quite a headache...

    Poem Comments

    (4)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    countrypoet commented on Nuclear Dawn

    12-02-2009

    Though the use of idiomatic metaphors is a bit confusing and distracting at times,you have created a very vivid and realistic picture of the desolation and destruction caused by a nuclear holocaust.. I agree with Motownlady that the word "videlicet is overused in this poem.Perhaps it would be better to consult a thesaurus and use a different word instead of repeating the same word over and over again.The depth of your feelings about this subject comes through loud and clear.Overall it is a quite memorable poem with a horrific yet necessary message.
    Reply to Comment

    mathiasthom

    12/03/2009

    I agree that the word 'videlicet' was over used, but it was a specific word that had to be used in a specific way for this poetry challenge I had entered

    Motownlady commented on Nuclear Dawn

    09-07-2009

    I liked the overall depressive nature of this piece. Vivid imagery paints a scenerio of desolation and destruction. Not sure about the consistent use of 'videlicet' - I thought it detracted from the flow. Perhaps just a hyphen would suffice? Otherwise, very well done!
    Reply to Comment

    nettieforce1 commented on Nuclear Dawn

    08-25-2009

    i think it would be cool to include your odd little list of nouns, verbs, adverbs and adjectives. also the explanation of the Stotin. that headache line, too. are you an english teacher? i'll give you a good score anyway. liked the evocative listing of nouns, verbs, adjectives and adverbs. gave the poem a staccato flavor of chaos, restlessness, hopelessness, and despair. nice.
    Reply to Comment

    mathiasthom

    08/25/2009

    no, I'm an artist, who happens to like entering poetry challenges.Thanks for commenting

    ncsassyrn commented on Nuclear Dawn

    03-19-2009

    Lot of feeling went into your poem..Very good
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    mathiasthom’s Poems (435)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    I Walk Alone 2 09/03/2014
    Grief 0 07/26/2014
    War 0 07/12/2014
    The State I'm In 0 07/08/2014
    Strange 2 07/06/2014
    New Day 1 06/29/2014
    The Perfect Moment 0 06/07/2014
    State 0 05/30/2014
    Unrequited Affairs 0 05/27/2014
    Coward 1 05/06/2012
    A Walk In The Park 0 05/02/2012
    Under The Bus 0 04/12/2012
    The Twisted Truth 0 04/05/2012
    Inclination 0 03/23/2012
    Found 0 03/21/2012
    Foreign Body 0 03/19/2012
    PDA 0 03/14/2012
    Love On The Horizon 0 03/10/2012
    Mindset 1 12/31/2011
    Everything Has Gone Wrong 0 12/13/2011
    We Are All The Same 0 12/13/2011
    Self Denial In Reverse 0 11/30/2011
    Eyes Don't Swallow 0 11/28/2011
    Still Don't Know 0 11/22/2011
    Ground 0 11/15/2011
    The Wayward Attraction 0 11/09/2011
    Brotherhood 0 11/01/2011
    After Hours 0 10/31/2011
    Roam 0 10/31/2011
    Contradiction 0 10/31/2011
    Subversive 0 10/31/2011
    November Promises 0 10/28/2011
    The Prodigal Son 0 10/26/2011
    Pity 0 10/26/2011
    In Between 0 10/18/2011
    Reality Always Proves Me Wrong 0 10/18/2011
    In Passing 2 10/17/2011
    21 0 10/17/2011
    The Open Skies 1 10/14/2011
    Money Changes Everything 0 10/13/2011
    I've Changed 1 10/12/2011
    Swept Away 0 10/12/2011
    Until Everything Disappears 0 10/06/2011
    A Million Years Ago 1 10/03/2011
    The Lessons I Will Never Learn 1 10/03/2011
    Sea of Doubt 3 10/03/2011
    Stories of Inconsistency 0 09/28/2011
    Being Born 0 09/26/2011
    It Gets Better 0 09/26/2011
    Transient 0 09/26/2011
    Swerve 0 09/26/2011
    Dust 0 09/26/2011
    Shoes 0 09/05/2011
    Strain 0 09/05/2011
    The American Dream 0 08/29/2011
    Underground 0 08/29/2011
    Useless Tokens 0 08/29/2011
    Disconnection is the Norm 0 08/29/2011
    Seeing the World through Strange Eyes 2 08/23/2011
    Like Autumn Leaves 1 08/23/2011
    Unreadable 1 08/10/2011
    Cycle 1 08/09/2011
    Sense of Purpose 0 08/09/2011
    Will 0 08/01/2011
    Some Kind of Wonderland 0 08/01/2011
    Flawed 0 07/28/2011
    A Rock 0 07/27/2011
    Nothing 1 07/18/2011
    Social Network Experiments 0 07/18/2011
    Where The Story Must End 1 07/18/2011
    See The Lights 0 07/15/2011
    Speed of Life 0 07/14/2011
    Being Born 0 07/12/2011
    Unwind 0 07/11/2011
    Can Only See Blue 0 07/08/2011
    Profiling 0 07/08/2011
    Still Celibate 0 07/05/2011
    Evolving 0 07/02/2011
    Sense 0 06/30/2011
    The Arrival of Clowns 1 06/28/2011
    Comdemnation is a Numbers Game 1 06/27/2011
    Hen Pecking Raw Emotions at 3am 1 06/27/2011
    Driven 0 06/27/2011
    Stepped Inbetween 1 06/23/2011
    Cleave 1 06/21/2011
    I Killed My Mother 0 06/21/2011
    A Journey of the Mind 1 06/16/2011
    Going Off 0 06/14/2011
    Clout 0 06/13/2011
    Choices 0 06/13/2011
    Three Neighborhood Men Talking at a Fence Line 0 06/09/2011
    Sailor Dress 0 06/07/2011
    Wreckage 0 06/07/2011
    Projecting 0 06/03/2011
    Falling Backwards 1 05/31/2011
    Pastel Skies 1 05/31/2011
    Rage 2 05/26/2011
    Dance 1 05/23/2011
    Degrees 0 05/23/2011
    I've Become Somebody Else 0 05/19/2011
    Filament 0 05/18/2011
    Can Never See 0 05/17/2011
    Mirror World 0 05/16/2011
    The Truth Strikes Home 0 05/16/2011
    Corrupted 0 05/12/2011
    A Child of God 0 05/06/2011
    A Revelation of Sorts 0 05/06/2011
    The Way of the World 0 05/04/2011
    Saturday Night, 2 AM 1 05/02/2011
    The Walk 2 04/28/2011
    Boundaries 1 04/28/2011
    No Resurrection 2 04/26/2011
    The Glass Man 1 04/26/2011
    Remaining Silent 1 04/20/2011
    Racing 1 04/19/2011
    Blackened Hearts 1 04/18/2011
    Passive Aggressive 1 04/18/2011
    Mirrors 1 04/14/2011
    Piles 1 04/14/2011
    In Denial 1 04/11/2011
    Spit 3 04/11/2011
    Married 1 04/07/2011
    Snow In April 1 04/06/2011
    Wrapped Up 1 04/05/2011
    Not The Same 1 03/29/2011
    House of Cards 2 03/28/2011
    After Midnight 1 03/28/2011
    House on Fire 1 03/28/2011
    Intoxication 1 03/25/2011
    Face Value 2 03/24/2011
    It All Comes Rushing Back 1 03/23/2011
    Redwoods 2 03/22/2011
    Screaming Into The Void 2 03/22/2011
    Loyalty 2 03/22/2011
    Dare 1 03/22/2011
    A Wounded Soul Will Always Bleed 1 03/18/2011
    Chivalry Isn't Dead 1 03/18/2011
    Her Sentiments, Not Mine 1 03/17/2011
    Never Suspected 1 03/16/2011
    Former Self 1 03/15/2011
    The Driving Force 1 03/14/2011
    Game Over 1 03/14/2011
    Doomsayers vs The Naysayers 1 03/14/2011
    Ripples 1 03/10/2011
    A Situation 1 03/09/2011
    Broken 1 03/08/2011
    Second Sight 1 03/07/2011
    A Kind of Spiritual Bliss 3 02/24/2011
    Make This Seem Worthwhile 2 02/21/2011
    The One That Got Away 1 02/17/2011
    Against All Reason 1 02/12/2011
    Connection 1 02/12/2011
    Moments 1 02/12/2011
    These Eyes 1 02/12/2011
    Pending 1 02/08/2011
    Howl 1 02/07/2011
    Nevada Wedding Chapel Blues 0 02/07/2011
    Going Nowhere 0 02/04/2011
    Feel 0 02/01/2011
    The World Fell Apart 0 02/01/2011
    Her Fondest Wish 2 01/31/2011
    A Train Wrecked Life 0 01/31/2011
    Wake Up 0 01/25/2011
    Rocking The Boat 0 01/21/2011
    Handsome Harry 0 01/17/2011
    New Dawn 0 01/14/2011
    Shame 0 01/11/2011
    No One Cares 0 01/10/2011
    In January 0 01/10/2011
    Crossing The Line 0 01/06/2011
    Mourning 0 01/05/2011
    The Very Next Day 1 12/27/2010
    Now 1 12/27/2010
    In The Twilight Between 1 12/27/2010
    His Grief 1 12/23/2010
    December Takes The Soul From Me 2 12/21/2010
    Making The Best of It 1 12/20/2010
    If I Should 1 12/17/2010
    See The Lights 0 12/15/2010
    Perceived Normal People 0 12/14/2010
    Goodbye, Walkman 0 12/08/2010
    The First Snow 0 12/06/2010
    1950 All Over Again 2 11/30/2010
    Synergy 1 11/29/2010
    Out of Sorts 0 11/22/2010
    Siphoning the Excess 0 11/22/2010
    White Noise 0 11/18/2010
    The World Transforms 0 11/11/2010
    Fueling The Anxieties 0 11/09/2010
    Connected 0 11/08/2010
    In Black and White 0 11/05/2010
    Sucking Lemons 0 11/04/2010
    Pain Runs Like a Useless Tear 1 10/28/2010
    It Pains Me 1 10/25/2010
    The Bed 1 10/23/2010
    Perspective 1 10/21/2010
    Stripping Atoms 1 10/20/2010
    In A Moment 0 10/17/2010
    A Note of Sorts 2 10/15/2010
    Everyone But Themselves 1 10/09/2010
    Life, and Other Debilitating Aliments 2 10/03/2010
    Inertia 3 09/30/2010
    I Know There Is Another Poem Within Me 0 09/27/2010
    She Used To 1 09/27/2010
    No Middle Ground 0 09/21/2010
    Autumn Comes Screaming 3 09/20/2010
    The Fight 0 09/20/2010
    Testament 3 09/16/2010
    Put These Words to Rest 0 09/14/2010
    In Tune 1 09/09/2010
    A Kingdom of Sorts 0 09/08/2010
    Clean 0 09/07/2010
    Grind 0 09/07/2010
    The Perfect Fit 0 09/05/2010
    This Mad Poetry 1 09/01/2010
    Breathing Room 1 08/31/2010
    Sunday 1 08/30/2010
    Bitterness and Brine 1 08/30/2010
    Halo 1 08/28/2010
    Treading 1 08/26/2010
    Be Here Now 1 08/25/2010
    Witness 2 08/18/2010
    Rage 1 08/14/2010
    The Look of Irony 1 08/14/2010
    The Wrong Century 1 08/10/2010
    The Silence Can Only Explode 1 08/09/2010
    The Objectified Lesson 0 08/02/2010
    Olean 0 08/02/2010
    Dust to Dust 0 07/28/2010
    The Address Book 0 07/27/2010
    Snap 0 07/27/2010
    He Becomes The Conclusion 0 07/20/2010
    4am 0 07/16/2010
    The Realm of the Real 0 07/13/2010
    A Universal Truth 0 07/12/2010
    Rite of Passage 0 07/08/2010
    Grind 1 07/06/2010
    Battered Wives Syndrome Blues 0 07/06/2010
    The Death of Trust 0 07/03/2010
    A Future At Stake 0 07/03/2010
    Life Is Strange 0 06/27/2010
    From Bad to Worse 0 06/22/2010
    Here Come The Tears 0 06/21/2010
    Instill 0 06/21/2010
    When The Right One Comes 1 06/18/2010
    No Borders Here 1 06/17/2010
    Tried to Live 1 06/15/2010
    Isolation Chamber 0 06/14/2010
    Here 0 06/11/2010
    A Moral Dilemma 0 06/07/2010
    Clouds and Secrecy 1 06/03/2010
    Plateau 1 05/23/2010
    Loose Cannon 0 05/17/2010
    In My Element 0 05/11/2010
    Life as Usual 0 05/10/2010
    His Silenced Voice Heard 0 05/10/2010
    Touched 1 05/03/2010
    Sibling Rivalry 1 05/03/2010
    A Void 0 05/03/2010
    Cycling 0 05/03/2010
    Hypocrite 1 04/27/2010
    Cracks 0 04/26/2010
    Strung Out 2 04/23/2010
    Pets 0 04/19/2010
    Childhood Revisited 2 04/16/2010
    Nomad 1 04/16/2010
    Hurt 2 04/12/2010
    Complacency 1 04/12/2010
    Simplest Things of Life 1 04/12/2010
    Disconnection 2 04/08/2010
    A Momentary Thing 2 04/06/2010
    Tell Tale Signs 0 04/06/2010
    Ice Age 0 04/06/2010
    Let Go 1 04/06/2010
    Midnight People 1 03/29/2010
    Disarray 1 03/27/2010
    Forbidden Fruit 1 03/26/2010
    He is a Machine 0 03/25/2010
    Five Haikus 2 03/24/2010
    What Else Is New? (adult) 2 03/22/2010
    Battle of The Scales 0 03/22/2010
    The Great Devourer 0 03/22/2010
    A Kindred Spirit 0 03/22/2010
    A Sponge Out of Water 0 03/22/2010
    Non Apologetic 0 03/16/2010
    Stall 0 03/15/2010
    Maelstrom Over You 0 03/15/2010
    Another Pointless Story 0 03/11/2010
    The Wrong Body Parts 1 03/08/2010
    Unbound 1 03/08/2010
    Untitled 2 03/05/2010
    Stripped 2 02/25/2010
    Kicking Up The Dust 0 02/24/2010
    Used to Look Forward to Sundays 1 02/22/2010
    Unfurled 0 02/22/2010
    Revenge 0 02/17/2010
    Reflections 0 02/17/2010
    Stammer 0 02/16/2010
    Howl 0 02/15/2010
    The Waiting Room 0 02/12/2010
    Albatross 0 02/08/2010
    Equilibrium 2 02/01/2010
    Bragging Rights 2 01/29/2010
    Craving Life 2 01/27/2010
    Something Must Break 2 01/26/2010
    Like A Blind Man 1 01/21/2010
    Born Old 0 01/20/2010
    This Life Slowly Unravels 0 01/18/2010
    The Maelstrom Is Me 0 01/18/2010
    Sweet Oblivion 0 01/11/2010
    The Saddest Reflection 0 01/11/2010
    Atmosphere 0 01/08/2010
    Hey Dad 1 01/08/2010
    Throwing Caution 0 01/04/2010
    Siphoned 0 12/28/2009
    Sugar Spun 0 12/28/2009
    Disowned 0 12/24/2009
    The Sun Is Shining On Only A Select Few 1 12/24/2009
    Conundrum 1 12/24/2009
    Disconnected 0 12/19/2009
    Beneath The Wheel 1 12/18/2009
    Soaring 1 12/10/2009
    Fifty Odd Stories 2 12/02/2009
    A Nagging Suspicion 0 12/02/2009
    Stalmate 0 12/02/2009
    Wilted 0 11/26/2009
    Drawing Blanks 2 11/23/2009
    A Simmering Passion That Reeks 0 11/23/2009
    30 Days 0 11/19/2009
    Unappreciated and Unloved 0 11/19/2009
    Some Resemblamce of Order 0 11/19/2009
    The Virgin Layers 2 11/19/2009
    Strange Universe 0 11/12/2009
    Increments 1 11/10/2009
    Walking On Egg Shells 1 11/10/2009
    Buckle Under 1 11/10/2009
    Detract and Detour 1 11/05/2009
    Mourning 0 11/02/2009
    A Way Station Detour 0 11/02/2009
    Tarnished 0 11/02/2009
    Displaced 0 10/27/2009
    Cell Phone Conversations 0 10/26/2009
    At 42 0 10/26/2009
    Now You Know Exactly How They Feel 1 10/19/2009
    Blanket of Woe 0 10/19/2009
    Dare To Live 0 10/19/2009
    Just Desserts 0 10/16/2009
    A Revelation of Sorts 0 10/14/2009
    Linger 0 10/09/2009
    Breach 0 10/05/2009
    The Edge of Nowhere 0 10/05/2009
    The Sun Won't Shine Ever Again 0 10/05/2009
    Casting A Reflection 1 10/01/2009
    Fields of Clover 1 09/30/2009
    Life On Hold 1 09/30/2009
    He'll Never Know 1 09/30/2009
    At Days End 0 09/30/2009
    In All Probability 1 09/30/2009
    Denied 0 09/30/2009
    Castration 1 09/22/2009
    Suppressed 1 09/22/2009
    Reassembled 2 09/18/2009
    Gray Is The Color of Rejection 1 09/17/2009
    State of Unrest 2 09/17/2009
    The King and Queen of Takeouts 1 09/15/2009
    Polar Opposites 1 09/15/2009
    Antiseptic Sights 0 09/15/2009
    Another Lost Weekend 1 09/15/2009
    Absurd 1 09/11/2009
    Feral 0 09/10/2009
    Nothing Bad Ever Happens 0 09/09/2009
    Blackberry 2 09/07/2009
    Unsettled 1 09/06/2009
    Achieving Serendipity 1 09/06/2009
    Remnants 1 08/28/2009
    Tortured 2 08/25/2009
    Poison 1 08/25/2009
    I Woke Up 0 08/25/2009
    The World Will Ignite If Anyone Cares to Remember 1 08/25/2009
    Such Scented Sickening Cinnamon 0 08/14/2009
    On Solid Ground 0 08/12/2009
    Double Standards 2 08/06/2009
    Horrible 0 07/31/2009
    Twisted Hedonist 0 07/16/2009
    Jump Start 1 07/16/2009
    The Dim 0 07/10/2009
    Is Honesty A Flaw? 1 07/06/2009
    Every Day You Cease To Be (adult) 1 07/06/2009
    Marking Time 0 07/06/2009
    My Life Becomes Art 0 07/03/2009
    Undone 0 07/03/2009
    Cry 0 07/03/2009
    In 24 Hours 0 07/03/2009
    Never Quite Arrived 0 07/03/2009
    Rude Awakening 0 06/21/2009
    The World Doesn't Revolve Around You 0 06/21/2009
    Under The Influence 0 06/21/2009
    Not Finished 0 06/21/2009
    It is Just Talk 0 06/21/2009
    Think Again 1 06/21/2009
    Indifferent 0 06/21/2009
    Four Days Later 0 06/21/2009
    Human Candle 0 06/21/2009
    Different 0 06/21/2009
    Clout 1 03/22/2009
    Big Fish Drowning In A Small Town Pond 0 03/21/2009
    Fester 1 03/21/2009
    The Way It Used To Be 0 03/19/2009
    Critiquing The Critics 1 03/18/2009
    Domestic Goddess 2 03/18/2009
    Captive 1 03/17/2009
    Cling 0 03/17/2009
    40 5 03/16/2009
    Ay Mi Amor! 2 03/15/2009
    1994 1 03/15/2009
    Too Easy 0 03/14/2009
    MoOD SWIngINg BEtTy 0 03/13/2009
    Just A Dog 1 03/13/2009
    In A Nutshell-6 word story 2 03/13/2009
    Nuclear Dawn 4 03/12/2009
    Syactic Nerve Blues 2 03/09/2009
    Unexploded -5 03/07/2009
    The Urge 1 03/07/2009
    Just A Thought to Ponder 3 03/06/2009
    Halfhearted 0 03/06/2009
    My Heart Smiles For You 1 03/04/2009
    Choked 1 03/03/2009
    Charity Case 1 03/02/2009
    Mood Swing # 2009 4 02/28/2009
    The Worms Have Returned 1 02/28/2009
    Breaking Chains 2 02/27/2009
    Remembering Jennie 2 02/27/2009
    Dreaming of Better Days... 3 02/26/2009
    If Only He Knew 2 02/26/2009
    Ballad of A Jaded Generation 5 02/26/2009
    Top of Page