Here's something that I noticed
gay men never have had a normal adolescence
the majority of us never had an opportunity
to actually date
instead, we were subjected to blatant hate
served up daily on a plate
Already knew my identity
from an extremely early age
had to settle for nothing
but an escalating rage
Use this body
for your neighborhood sleepovers
call me horrendous names
to cover up your guilty endeavors
Walking these halls
animosity at my side
spit and fists
and threatening words
teachers sided with them
while it daily grew worse
I never went to my prom
the rites of adolescence
are extremely backwards and wrong
when one is made to feel
that you will never belong
Thank you righteous Right
so glad your lives turned out alright
but you let me fall between the cracks
while sarcastically laughing behind my back
Now I'm older
still suffering this chip on my shoulder
I try not to hate,
yet have an awful time seeming to relate
suffering through these bouts of depression
that I thought would lessen
by the first strands of gray
yet it never worked out that way
the familiar thrown into disarray
Finding it hard to simply accept
looking for an underlining reason not to fret
wondering why this concrete reasoning
never seemed to set
and so passes yet another evening,
witnessing an Innocents’ death
 

mathiasthom
written 3/27/10