Got a buzz
but it will go away soon
vanilla cream vodka
who knew such delights existed?
All those darker thoughts
that I've always resisted
have come to a head again
goodbye my friend
need to push myself to the end
need to go around the bend
I want to see heaven
I'm sick of viewing hell
where I dwell

These workers on the street
in machines, playing with the lines
staring out the window
like some pathetic peepshow
can never find this time
that is just for myself
where the problems are coated
with an alcoholic sheen
moving through life as a dream
never was good enough

What do you see in me?
besides the inevitable dead end?
can't climb out of this again
another suicide with words
the darkness claws away
this bed is in disarray
can't move anymore
paralyzed by the thought
of indecision

mathiasthom
written 3/25/11