She may be getting her fondest wish
the one whispered in these ears
at a relative's wake:
"you should be dead."

Now don't get the proverbial knickers
in a complicated knot
I have no plans to suicide
no unspoken plot

Just musing out loud
with this head in the clouds
when are you coming back down to earth?
back into a world of hurt?

Never would suspect it
not on this smiling face
but peel back that outer layer
feel the disappointment and terror

Am I one to be melodramatic?
stuck in a life on auto pilot
caught up in the theatrics
while these thoughts run riot?

She tries to keep me hanging on
from a phone which dust thrives upon
not with bated breath,
but a one line text

Tried to call,
but no one is there
heading for a fall
complications waiting to snare

Hate to be the one
trying to sleep beneath a rising sun
to put a damper on your fire,
but I'm emotionally tired

mathiasthom
written 1/30/11