Kicking Up The Dust
I don't want to be part of a world
that looks down on men loving men
love is pure,
no matter how it occurs
So how come
after 42 years
I'm still hitting dead ends
watching my straight counterparts
come together,live together
fall apart, divorce
wondering how I steered off course
why I feel such a sad remorse
over such a topic at all?
A friend said:
'You will never find someone
until you love yourself first'
But I do, I do
maybe all I need
is to get a tattoo
declaring my true intentions
to find someone to woo
But I can't play these silly games
finding the whole topic rather strange
Where is all this freedom
we supposedly have won?
Guess it was wasted on this second son
I used to go on those escapades
bookstores, alleyways
parked cars,bushes
church doorways
laughing in the face of such adversity
nothing was pure or sacred to me
so I'd end up at the bars
just keep right on dancing
but now that whole scene
holds no appeal
as if I've lost the ability to feel
still searching for something more
but that elusiveness is a certain bust
I've lost the ability to trust
and friends are nowhere to be found
just left kicking up the dust
watching another setting sun
the unsettling color of rust
mathiasthom
written 2/23/10
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