I am not the voice of reason
This insular viewpoint
is a rallying cry of treason
Familiarity has bled away
the spark of life within me
Family lies broken in disarray
yet a certain freedom
and creativeness
wrestles continuously
with my inner demons,
Never exactly knowing
which side will ever win?

Pointing out another flaw
it's another half ass backward
Murphy's Law
wrecking havoc
on this solitary life
that I seem to lead
as if I have the time
to bash this head
against the bricks again
Too many arguments
not another aimless lament
wondering where this common sense went

Beat it out of me
bleed it out of me
such brutal hostility
waging war on ones self
I will commandeer
this abandoned, sinking ship
but we are all somewhat passengers
on a wayward trip
One way course
a melding of the Divine,
or is it all delusional,
playing with our minds?

2012 is supposedly
the beginning of the end
Yet I remember 1984
how people went around the bend
The planets were lining up
for a one way journey
into a molten sun
Yet nothing occurred
as if it ever would
just another day
living in a conflicted world

Trying not to let the craziness
interfere or wreck havoc
Like some maverick
who refuses to be tamed,
no matter how many times
waylaid or maimed
All colors tend to bleed
look hard enough to believe
like leaves on trees
here for a season
never needing a reason
to disrupt the natural order
or push beyond ones border
into chaotic disorder
Just take a deep breath,
and release

mathiasthom
written 4/1/10