destination

the sum of knowledge painfully accrued
the instruction of heartbreak and rejection
inadequacy and desperation
unworthy professors, all

but lo, the gutter beckons
with it's filth and debris
I rise again, shaken
infected by it's disease
always afflicted
internally deteriorated
like a junkie, dissipated
diminished
left with only rudimentary weapons
bringing a tarnished knife
to the next gun fight

always, always, always
I lose

always, always, always
I pull myself back up

wounded and inflamed
screaming rage into the storm
in tones of raw vermillion defiance
cloaked in choking sorrow
and determination
to break free of the decimated battlefield
where bloody bits of me linger
like minor amputations
the sum of loss as yet,
unaccounted
there is nothing left here
worth fighting for

reborn
in limitless possibility
the edges of identity undefined
I break on the surface
of a soul refined by fire
pure strength shimmering
liquid molten gold
and this time it's understood
I will craft the mold
I will create myself
in truer lines
with a whole heart
and no arsenal of fearful weaponry

no weight of expectation
no righteous dictate to condemn
every breath
my choices, mine to make
my life, mine to live
every disparate, scattered piece reclaimed
assimilated and owned
and I am beyond contemplating
any further sacrifice of myself
on the alter of the pharisees
the taste of freedom burns wild and sweet
through every atom of my being
unleashing the joy of ME

and so, freed from the lessons
of complicity and submission
to vaunted wisdom
and the morality of the downtrodden
I stand with my whole world
in my own hands
and oh, how I love you
with all that I am
unbroken, unchained
unrestrained
come love
shape this life with me
beyond the reach
of destiny