Before Brian's life was lost,
My life was almost cost;
I was physically hurt--in despair and grief--and so much pain.
I lay in a hospital bed.
I wondered how close I had come to being dead.
Because of that sudden accident, when our car was hit.
My neck, my back, my leg, were hurting bad;
And I knew all the money I had worked for would go down the drain,
Because I could not now mentally focus on the hearing for it.
The sum of all my suffering had made me, for a moment, mad.
Now, the brief unfamiliar madness had passed; but I was still deeply sad.
So I lay there, in utter despair.
I looked up at the lights in the ceiling.
I felt surrounded by people who had little or no feeling
For me, for the value of my life, for my feelings; I was just a job.
Of course, they didn't know me.  Also, so many patients they see,
Many with much worse conditions, apparently, than they see in me,
They've lost whatever human feeling they ever had for us, all empathy.
Just a job, a fly-by, who might live or die--either way, just another day.
I lay there, wondering why so many terrible things had happened.
So many bad things.  And, now, we would lose all that money.
The next day was the day of the hearing, which would have awarded.
How does that saying go?--sort of silly--"So bad, it isn't even funny."
An accident from nowhere, that we could not have afforded,
Suddenly struck--incredibly bad luck--the path of time misshapened.
The ambulance had carried me here, leaving my precious friend behind.
With a hospital phone, I phoned another friend : "Please go help Brian."
I didn't know if the car could still run.  "Give him a ride home, please."
The friend asked me which hospital and which room I was in.
Then, I lay there, in utter despair.  Money to help us, now out the door.
With these headaches and neck pain and back pain and leg pain,
I knew I would not be able to write a cogent paper for the hearing.
All the previous work that I had done would be in vain.
My life seemed to be only suffering, sorrowing, regretting, and fearing.
Cancer and its costs, afflicting me, and now also Brian my best friend.
So many of our efforts and hopes, stifled, stopped, as by this accident.
My painful present, fearful future, regretful past--what was I living for?
I had forgotten the blessings of life--past and present, and yes, future too.
I lay there, in deepening despair.  Then, suddenly, someone walked in.
Brian walked into the room.  Completely unexpectedly.  He looked at me,
And asked me how I was.  I was so happy to see him!  I told him so;
I had forgotten my best blessing of all, to have this precious caring friend.
I told him I had been feeling despair, but that now that he was there,
I had remembered all my blessings.  The lost money?  I didn't even care.
"Thank you for coming, Brian," I said.  I no longer felt alone.  I knew
That our friendship and caring mattered more than any of our losses.
Brian looked at me, with his bright shining brown eyes, in pure concern:
"I was worried about you," he said.  He came over to my hospital bed,
And I sat up, and we embraced.  In that moment of time, that living time,
We were both happy again, living in the moment,
Without sorrow, regret, or fear.  All our blessings were suddenly clear.
As Scripture so truly says: Perfect love casts out all fear.

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Written by Michael LP, aka MLP
aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC, aka Mr. Poet
Written on Friday, April 15, 2011  10:38 am PST
65 degrees F.    Humidity: 13%  Forecast:  overcast
Copyright 2011 (C) by Michael LP.  All rights reserved