[For my lifetime's best friend Brian,
on the first Veterans day he isn't here:
Friday, November 11, 2011]


This special day, to honor those who serve to defend,
Is your day, Brian; you too served, and you are a veteran.
I almost wrote "you were a veteran": but you still are,
To me;
Even though your life was made to end.
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I have read the commendations you received,
During your army years.
You were an excellent medic, and you trained others.
How many injuries and wounds were healed--
Then--and as years continue to pass--
By the expertise that you imparted!
You were commended for your excellent work in that.
You were a first-class instructor and teacher.
You were a very smart man. You were quick-witted.
You yourself were such a fast learner--
Faster and better than you ever gave yourself credit for.
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You had so much knowledge, my friend.
You knew everything about old and new movies--
Which films had which actors, directors, producers--
And the histories of film genres, and so many biographies.
You knew all about cars, dog breeds, and a thousand topics
Where I myself was ignorant. And I learned from you.
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We both loved science fiction: books and magazines,
TV series and movies--
And at the Sci-Fi Center here in town,
The two of us spent many happy hours together.
We both loved comic books;
But, unlike me, you were an expert on comic book history;
You told me and taught me much on this and so many other topics.
Many happy times we browsed together in the comic book stores.
You also knew exquisite details about all the classic cartoon shows.
You had a fabulous collection of these--and also old movies,
From film noir to the Marx Brothers; and old TV shows, too.
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Like me, you were a great reader; and we both loved nothing more
Than to spend hours browsing and reading in a book store.
So many enjoyable and happy times we spent together.
And you were always a wonderful conversationalist;
We had many enjoyable and valuable conversations--
Usually just the two of us, but often also with others.
They knew how smart you were, too. But I knew much of your life.
When you joined the army, you had not yet learned to drive;
Yet in no time at all, there, you learned.
You could drive even a stick-shift easily and well.
Eighteen years old, and stationed in Germany.
You met a few Frauleins, you did; time was good to you then.
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You were very smart, Brian.
And you were a good man, my friend.
Gentle and kind and caring. As innocent as a child.
Reaching out an open hand and an open heart.
But you were also as vulnerable as a child. Easily hurt.
Taking cutting comments to heart. Believing them.
You had been convinced, and hurtfully burned,
By cruel words from some who put you down,
That you were not as good as others; but I could not tell,
When I first met you and our friendship first started.
You kept your low self-esteem as a sorrow in your heart;
And only after a year I found out about your private inner hell.
But even when inwardly you were so sadly deceived
Into thinking you were unworthy, though worthy much more
Than all the people I have known afterward and before:
You faced your troubles and you struggled bravely on,
Being so much a better person than you yourself believed.
When you lost your long good job, back East,
When the business closed, jobs there were scarce and poor.
You had the will and wit to drive all the way out here,
And you wisely sought and got VA training, and again did well,
And found a good job for yourself, and a close apartment.
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You were so cheerful and friendly, when we met--
A kind good guy who, from the first day, I knew,
I never would forget. So quickly I became friends with you.
Very soon, we were best friends, you and I.
We shared so many activities, that first great year.
Spending time with you was making the best and most of time,
Treasuring our friendship, and making treasured good memories.
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Do you remember, Brian, how shy you were about karaoke?
I would sing, but you were far too shy to sing. But then,
When I finally got you to overcome your shyness,
How you outshined me! You became much more popular.
I remember your wonderful singing--the voice of an angel.
Singing songs like "I Love" by Tom T. Hall and "Aubry" by Bread--
In which you sometimes said "Arly" instead--
I had thought then it was an accidental mispronunciation--
But I found out, months after you were dead,
It is a lady's name, a still-beloved old flame--
Your first true girlfriend--a lady you still loved;
And, many years later, as I found out, she still loves you.
How much more blessed your life would have been, if you knew.
But, you two lost track of each other; yet you never forgot her:
And she remembered you, too.
But you, dealing with problems, did not know she still loved you;
You moved far away, left your old life, and started a new.
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And so you met me, and I met you, and we became friends true.
You were wonderfully interesting, intelligent, and knowledgeable;
I found you so, as you found me.
We enjoyed each other's company.
You had also found a girlfriend out here, and you invited me
To the wedding you expected;
I looked forward to being your best man.
Then, the girl you thought was going to marry you,
Let you down: she announced that she was leaving town.
You showed love to her even then, and helped pay her way,
Even though your heart was breaking; but when she was away,
Your grief became too great for you to bear, and you broke down.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I was there for you, my friend, to help you stand again,
And I became for you someone for you to lean on and not fall.
So too you became for me, when I got cancer.
And so I later again became for you, when you got cancer too.
We were brothers of the soul; you were my soul's best brother.
I helped you; then you helped me: and then, we helped each other.
I was able to help you realize that you were a worthy good man,
And that you deserved to be happy; and you showed to me
Fine examples of how truly good and worthy a human being can be.
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But now you are gone from this world;
And that is the greatest grief and most sorrowful loss to me.
Only if God wills and enables, will I ever again see
You, my precious friend Brian--in that deep well of time, eternity.
Till then, as long as I live and have my mind, you live in my memory.
Every day. And today is for you a special day: Veterans Day.
Happy Veterans Day, Brian.


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Written by Michael LP, aka PoetWithCancer
Written on Friday, November 11, 2011
Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael LP. All rights reserved
(Copyrighted for my estate)