Time Stop

(Written as I face the likely end of my health insurance--
which will then mean the end of everything, for me.)


My time is drawing to a close.
Where the spirit comes from, or where it goes,
Nobody really knows.
But I know that one drop of dew, sparkling in the sun,
Is like a jewel of life for living eyes alone;
When my life is done,
I will not have dew-drops again to see.
No more rainbows then for me.
Just something called eternity--
Whatever that will be.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Life, so full of gifts,
Is itself, as a whole, not really a gift, but just a short-term loan.
Even the greatest gifts, love and friendshp, are lost as time drifts.
How will I taste love, or find and hug a friend,
When once my time has come to an end?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
But while my time lasts, I wil love as bright as the sun's blaze.
While my life lasts and I have friends, I will hold them in my heart,
And defy anything but death to break us apart.
While I live, every new day I will hold as gold;
And I will feel each waking up as a fresh start.
Later, what comes later?  After the loud last trumpet blows:
No one really knows
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Now, the green earth is encompassed in my gaze;
The sky of stars sweeps through my living eyes;
The moon and sun play tag in succeeding skies.
Thank You, God, for all my living days;
Heal me or not, I still give You praise--
Though my weeping heart is choking on the torment of wherefores and whys.
Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow!
Even if it turns out You are deaf to my heart's deep cries.
Even if by bitter, scary, painful cancer my loved life must go.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For now, I live in the world You made;
As bright and shining as a guillotine blade.
I dwell in loving wonder and great grieving here below;
But You dwell impenetrably above.
You have all time; I have only a broken brevity.
My time is coming to a close.
I cannot know where, or if anywhere, I'm going to go,
Nor if there are any real reasons.
I only know I have felt time's flow, and lived and loved the seasons.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It is frightening and very hard, after so many years,
So many clock-ticks, so many passing days,
To face the final end of time, for me.
The end of time they call eternity.
Whatever that may be.
Now, replacing hopes, I suffer fears.
Now, replacing pleasure and happiness, I have pain and woe.
Now, for dew-drops, I have my tears;
Tears of sadness, to leave the life I love.
Wondering what, if anything, waits for me--after--beyond, below, above.
Dreaming of the days my passion held the love of a precious pleasing dove.
=======================


--Written by Michael LP
aka MLP, aka Mr. Poet, aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC
(I'm just me)
Copyright © 2010 by M.L.P.  All rights reserved