If I claimed to have fallen asleep alive and then awakened dead

Would you think me a fool with little brains in my head?

Or would you pass it off with a long raucous laugh

Leaving me to figure it out on my own behalf?

If the sun arose in the West instead of the East

Would clocks run backwards or would time just cease?

These are important questions that require astute comprehension

So please apply your utmost personal attention

If the male of the species ends up pregnant

Might his spouse accuse him of being adulterant?

Or is he simply the victim of his own self love?

Having forgotten to wear the appropriate protective glove

If you start up your car and throw it in gear

and find to your dismay that it will only move to the rear

Would you turn about and drive with your arms to the back?

Or would you hop out and give the damn thing a hell of a whack?

 If for some reason you think I’m not being serious

and begin to suspect that I am somewhat delirious

I would hope that you might consider the source

And remember I’m trying my best to get back on course

If you noticed the rain falling up rather than down

Would you worry that the birds in the sky might very well drown?

   And if you stood in the rain holding your favorite cup

Do you wonder how in the world you could ever get it to fill up?

What if the chickens were in charge and the dominant species?

Would they pen us all up to walk about in our own feces?

What other revenge might they seek if they were the commanders?

I’m sure they would be hunting down the infamous Colonel Sanders

Now this nonsense has gone on just about as long as it should

  I know this kind of silliness is not easily understood

But if you find all of this strange and choose to give me the prod

Take a good look in the mirror…I may not be the only one that is odd

©Charlie Gragg January 25, 2011