Lame Limericks

There is a state of mind known as woebegone

In which one feels like an addict on methadone

The more one tries to feel upbeat

The more one suffers mental defeat

And the mind plays on like a gramophone.

∞

The boys outside the bar appeared rapscallion

Their actions were downright reptilian

 Every time a girl would walk by

One would let out a loud cry

Acting just like an overheated young stallion

∞

There was an old lady from New Jersey

Who recently moved to Poughkeepsie

She met this old fart

In a local Kmart

And the two proceeded to get quite tipsy

∞

Roger was smug and a bit of a grandee

Others viewed him as somewhat of a dandy

The girls giggled and downright snickered

Because they knew he sought entry to their knickers

But alas, with buttons and zippers he just wasn’t handy     

    ∞

Bobby was well known for his generosity    

 But also known for his excessive gulosity

     He would take you to lunch anytime

But always state “what’s left over is mine”

And clean the table with the utmost ferocity

∞

There was this old man from Toledo

That liked to parade around in his speedo

The old ladies would giggle

Watching his sagging butt jiggle

But it did little or nothing for their libido

∞

There is this retired gentleman in south Buda

Who would like to vacation in Bermuda

But his poem book didn’t sell worth squat

Now he’s stuck with who knows what

As he reads travel brochures in his pad in south Buda

∞

There is this Colorado guy who lives in the Springs

Whose Windows computer does unusual things

The damn screen turned permanently black

So he went out and bought a new Mac

Now he doesn’t answer when his telephone rings


Copyright Charlie Gragg, January 16, 2011