UNLESS ITS YOU

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Tags:
  • Love
    • rachelerika
    • If you get a minute may you please check out my poem? http://www.originalpoetry.com/you-are-my-happily-ever-after

    UNLESS ITS YOU

    He's godlike but somewhat unimpressed
    for the robes in which he's dressed
    the adoration in which he yearns
    Has taken his life in silent turns
    his accomplishments are undefeated
    But he inherts a throne unseated
    He later forges his his lasting bonds
    lies below his naked ponds
    He wants everything to be taken away
    His bareness stripped till what he'll say
    is take my pocessions my riches too
    I don't want anything unless its you!

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    lucky62 commented on UNLESS ITS YOU

    10-21-2009

    Very interesting what are you trying to convey to the reader. It needs a little clarity. Try forming and using words that create images, You have talent and potential just need to give it a little more thought.........
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

    Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

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