thorns

10 Comments

Tags:
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    this is simply an account of a teenage love that was too big for the too small.

    thorns




    she would bite her lip before she would kiss me
    i loved that
    i gave her roses
    and removed the thorns with bloodied fingers
    i scribbled down her name
    in a swift and ready verse
    she hid my letters in her guarded purse
    she was mine
    she loved me with tears that would roll and run
    she loved me all stalwart like a shotgun;
    completely
    seriously
    fatally
    i was too young for this kind of love
    and her passion proved crippling
    and rippled through my life
    like a serrated hunting knife
    essentially this girl in love
    eventually lost my love
    but she still bit her lip
    took her love underground
    and loved me in private






    .

    Poem Comments

    (10)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    frog commented on thorns

    06-10-2010

    omg this poem is so real and full of emotion. A lot of truth spoken in it. Another great write!
    Reply to Comment

    cheronld commented on thorns

    06-01-2010

    Nothing sadder than someone falling out of love when all you can do is to love.....too much of a good thing.......nicely done...
    Reply to Comment

    Crush

    06/01/2010

    you said it ! thank you for reading me....i am big fan of yours and respect your opinion.

    xntric commented on thorns

    05-03-2010

    So wonderful and sad. To many moments in this life to do not get the chance to bloom fully because of bad timing or mismatched emotions. Wonderful poem.
    Reply to Comment

    hjaycarney commented on thorns

    04-29-2010

    words of great passion directly from the heart. compelling
    Reply to Comment

    WordSlinger commented on thorns

    02-23-2010

    Nice, the ending is so dang good, I like it alot, ty WS
    Reply to Comment

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    Crush’s Poems (64)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    my fragile city 3 10/23/2021
    nervous 1 08/14/2021
    us 0 07/21/2021
    the wedding ghost 2 05/28/2021
    famous 1 05/21/2021
    angel face 1 02/13/2021
    carried off by owls 2 03/24/2020
    Santa Claus Is Coming Around 1 01/01/2020
    skin 2 08/02/2019
    the midnight girl 1 07/13/2019
    hold 1 06/15/2019
    here 0 06/15/2019
    the other 1 01/15/2017
    flashback 1 12/10/2016
    violent pretty 1 08/21/2016
    the people in the attic 1 06/10/2016
    the ride 1 07/01/2015
    my nightmares are awake 1 11/01/2013
    no bugs 6 05/05/2013
    waiting 3 02/04/2013
    welcome 5 01/30/2013
    a fetus in a clear bowling ball 6 10/30/2012
    crows feet 7 10/17/2012
    rats 5 09/25/2012
    the mobster 4 09/19/2012
    perfect 6 08/21/2012
    jumper 5 08/20/2012
    lady godiva 3 08/07/2012
    malaise 3 08/07/2012
    pirate 4 06/25/2012
    flight on time 3 06/22/2012
    fear of falling 4 06/17/2012
    unfinished crow ? 5 05/31/2012
    chemocallouse
    s    		 3 05/07/2012
    elephant 5 04/27/2012
    cancer 8 04/26/2012
    skyline 5 09/07/2011
    st. saviour 2 05/19/2011
    satellites 4 04/20/2011
    were you waiting for me ? 10 01/27/2011
    snapshot 5 01/24/2011
    fists 12 11/13/2010
    lauren 17 09/20/2010
    insomnia 18 09/14/2010
    ceremony 12 05/26/2010
    mother 14 04/27/2010
    ash 27 03/24/2010
    the june bug 15 03/18/2010
    low 19 02/08/2010
    thorns 10 11/24/2009
    paralyzed 9 11/12/2009
    mr. sparkle 15 12/28/2009
    dresses 15 10/04/2009
    glass 13 10/27/2009
    cemetaries 18 10/03/2009
    throe 18 10/27/2009
    if i fell in love 27 09/05/2009
    pills 22 07/06/2009
    off black 20 10/28/2009
    mannequin 22 06/23/2009
    umbrage 12 07/03/2009
    sick boy 12 07/03/2009
    kelly has a big head 21 10/27/2009
    unfairly fairy 26 12/20/2009
    Top of Page