off black

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  • Childhood Anxiety

    off black

    the whites called me "nigger"
    the blacks called me "honkey"
    i am a proud black man
    and i bleed and bruise black and blues
    soul brother, earth toned hues

    my southern relatives crushed my frame
    laughed at me and changed my name
    "worm, yellow boy, green eyes, rabbit"
    i didn't know what to do with their words
    so i ran away from my household
    far from their critical and cruel habits
    "off black, red bone, mulatto, light bright"
    i left home with my broken mold

    "where does he belong
    where should he be
    something is wrong
    he aint black as me ?!"

    but i am black and so proud
    with my heart and head held high
    i try to live out loud
    because i am black
    so what if my skin is light.

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    EyesOfRain commented on off black

    08-26-2012

    This brings back memories for me as I watched firsthand as my brother who is Cuban suffered for being a different skin color than the rest of the family. We were both adopted. Anyway, I always felt so helpless as he pulled away from me emotionally to preserve his sense of selfworth. I still miss him. I am glad you have pulled through and have your head held high as it should be. Love.
    Reply to Comment

    Crush

    08/26/2012

    yeah, it is somewhat of a unique situation for the most part, isn't it

    EyesOfRain

    08/26/2012

    Yes. I wish it was never an issue. People are people and now my brother is very damaged emotionally. I wish I knew how to reach him. Love the realness. Thanks for sharing this piece.

    Crush

    08/26/2012

    so sorry about your brother. that is true a heartbreak.

    Bobbie876 commented on off black

    11-13-2010

    haunting reminder of our ancestry and how black is sometimes too black and brown is not black but then it aint white either.....i love it ...reminds me of all the issues here in the Caribbean where there are all kinds of shades of black!
    Reply to Comment

    Crush

    11/13/2010

    yeah, its such a crazy thing. thank you for reading me....love your input.

    SerenityWintirs commented on off black

    09-20-2010

    This is really deep and I am so glad that you took the time to write it and get it off of your chest because examining dark periods in your life definately open up your eyes to so much. And thank you for sharing this. It really shows that you can look back on the experience and realize that it only made you stronger and prouder.
    Reply to Comment

    simoneaugustus commented on off black

    06-01-2010

    This is an incredibly powerful piece, full of raw emotion. Although my situation was different, I know how it feels when you don't quite seem to fit in. But I am thrilled to see you were able to overcome the narrow-mindedness and petty faults of others. Stand tall, stand proud! Black, white, tan, purple, green, whatever, we are all human. You have a beautiful soul and they shorted themselves by not realizing it sooner. Great work!
    Reply to Comment

    Crush

    06/01/2010

    thank you very, very much ! i am going to see them this week, i leave friday, june 4th.

    simoneaugustus

    06/01/2010

    I hope you enjoy your visit to the fullest, and remember: Hold your head high! :)

    cheronld commented on off black

    06-01-2010

    It just never stops does it....either you are too light or in my case too dark....I wish someone would tell me just what is the right shade to being Black...or African American.....or what I prefer...Of African Descent.....I guess the labels fell off during birth.....I am so glad that this was written with such honesty and emotion.....great poem.....
    Reply to Comment

    Crush

    06/01/2010

    yeah, it was traumatic but i managed to find me, on my own. thank you for understanding and taking the time to read me.

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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