i am aware (i’m already dead)

i am aware of my heart in my chest as it beats
and the air in my lungs as i inhale and breathe
i am aware of the thoughts in my head as i think
and the lies in my eyes of the things that i see

i am aware of the touch that my fingers can feel
and the pain of emotions that murder and kill
i can drown in the tears of my eyes as they fill
and silence my cries with a handful of pills

i am aware of the fight that i face up ahead
and the misery that grows from the pain it is fed
i am aware that my body feels weighted with lead
and fight the reality that i'm already dead

i am aware of the slice that is made by the blade
and with time the scars simply lighten and fade
i am aware that this life gives all you can take
and pushes the bounderies with sorrow and pain

i am aware of the pain as it continues to grow
as the slices of life on my skin start to show
i am aware of the things that i already know
and i cover my eyes as tears start to flow

i am aware that the future is just an unknown
and it scares me to death based on what i've been shown
i am aware wht it means for some to go "home"
but my need is to sleep and to reap what is sewn

i am aware of my heart as it beats in my chest
and the air that i breathe as i exhale my breath
i am aware of the thoughts that run through my head
and the thought s that tell me that i'm already dead