dissecting myself
all of this shit has spilled out into my space
everything in chaos and out of place
all i can do is sit and stare
overwhelmed and ill prepared
the clutter and mess that has come to pass
all of the memories from the past
lie in the way of my chosen path
piled in front of me a monumental task
sifting and sorting i try to make sense
of this pile of swill growing quite dence
completely overwhelming and deadly intense
causing my heart and brain to whence
i have tried to kick it aside and push ahead
trample it under my boots and ignore it instead
but it always seems to stick in the tread
and show back up when i least expect
so as i walk and try to leave it behind
somehow it stays fresh in my mind
triggers of things that always remind
seeming to find things i dont want to find
no more ignoring i must acknowledge it all
forcing myself to stumble and fall
peeling back layers and what they reveal
uncovering wounds id rather not feel
as i pick through the things invading my space
and all of the chaos that seems out of place
slicing myself with razors concealed
sifting through dense piles of swill
endlessly sorting through the clutter and mess
seemingly making little progress
trying to release the shit ive suppressed
while stumbling through this entire process
picking apart the inner workings of me
dissecting myself and all this debris
sifting and sorting and hoping to find
and ounce of myself and a piece of my mind
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