Raw
If you said that you would never let me go
than why am I laying here alone?
You promised me that you would protect me from any and everything that would
ever allow me to feel pain
So how could you be the one to hurt me so badly?
You said that with you I could let down my gaurd and be the me that I am
and yet I have to put on so many heirs
I feel too poor to love you
too weak to hold you
and like nothing when you put me down
How can I be your queen when you treat me like a commoner?
You vowed to build me up
And then in the same breath destroy everything I own
Publicly humiliate me and dehuminize me because I gave you the power to
There was nothing that you did to me that I did not allow
Every ounce of dominion that you felt was yours I gave to you
I gave you power everytime I foolishly lost my voice and backed down in the face of fear
scared that you would leave me
and from my fear you thrived
I gave you power everytime I hid my brilliance to make you look better
Every dream I laid away so that you could shine
Trying to lend to you what you should have already had in yourself
How dare you belittle me and call it love?
How dare I accuse you of hurting me when I never had the heart to leave?
How dare you say you would love me better than any other man and abuse me?
How dare I stay leave and stay return be burned and hurt and worse still want you?
Ill be damned if I call it love
Ill be damned if I call you mines
Ill be damned if all that you are is all that I am worth?
Ill be damned if I settle and go along with good enough?
Ill be damned if youre my good enough
Ill be damned if I quit because Im scared that there is no one who can love me better
Ill be damned if I am confused enough to believe that you ever offered me love at all
It was all conditional
Your love was offered in exchange for my obedience
And to my disenchantment I sold my mind my body my soul for you
You are not my God
I take all power that I ever gave to you back
I rebuke every time that I exposed my heart and emptied my love for you
You never deserved the me that I am that I will be and who she is
is too good for you
But never too good for farewell
Goodbye
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