dan

I stay awake late nights drowning in my solitude,
wasted off of angry feelings, crossed between hurt and pain...
Im not myself anymore, because of him I am not the same... Does he really deserve this much thought, all of the energy that I am giving him?
He takes my heart a thousand times only to obliterate it over and over again...
Some God tell me when I wont hurt.. Tell me when the heavens will rain over this heart lodged in the woes of a sinful earth...
Tell me that I wont always feel this way for someone who doesn't even love me,
I cant dream of who I am without him, beyond tomorrow I am lost in dreams...
hopelessness, is the door that opens to me, gives me moons and oceans of despair,
How can I be strong when my strength left me, and didn't tell me that he was going anywhere...
I cant believe that he doesn't care, I cant believe he would leave me here... what have I done?
Why am I being punished, no real friend could have possibly done this...
He never really loved me, and I was never really his,
it doesn't matter about our childhood, or all of the silly crazy things that we did...
My earth my stars my sun is gone...
How am I to find happiness when I am so alone...
Dan you could have told me that you were leaving...
you could have said it was over...
you could have warned me that I would never hold you again...
never touch your skin,
never dive into your soul,
what a mess I'm in,
never feel your touch, never call your name,
never have you hand in mines, you're playing the devils game
was my god too much for you?
Was It because I claimed him to be true...
Was it because you didn't understand
Was it because of my demands...
At first it was high school when you left me for her...
You stole my heart and life and it never went back to the way it were...
You keep doing this to me, now as my best friend you walk, you leave...
You are a cold and heartless bastard to disappear with no remorse, and no warning, you never loved me or the woman that I was becoming...
I'm angry I'm hurt, I am nothing left in the dirt, without you
I cant move on, tell me that this is all a game that we will later laugh about
and that I am wrong...
I am withering in a garden full of roses, I am ugly and I don't suppose its because without you I literally have no air, Dan I am dying, save me or do you really care...
does it matter that right now at this very moment my heart is breaking... that I am writing uncontrollably while my limbs are shaking... that I am crying and my mind and soul and heart wont let my tears stop, Dan you can make them go away you can stop the last drop...
all you have to do is say that you care, say that you love me and that you will always be here...
say that you will love me no matter what, or how I change, tell me that you wont desert me or leave me in the rain.  Dan all you have to do is come back to me and I wont even question your leave...
Dan please unbreak my heart and I promise to take my emotions off of my sleeve...