Memory Totem

as i look back, i can only see
the way we felt, the love in me
i scarificed so much to be with you
everything from my freedom, and the life i once knew

all that might have ment to be
is now just a memory
of the time, i tried so hard
but in the end, i was barred

glancing now to the present day
i still remember how we felt that way
and still i see, still i believe
there is something more beneath

they keep saying its just a phase you'll be ok
that i dont believe, how do they know anyway?
all that mattered was your simple smile
all that matters is that you pass the trial

so as before i go
back to the life i used to know
back to the darkness in my eternal hell
back into the darkess, my eternal cell

look toward the future i see
nothing but pain, lonelyness, and agony
thats ok, its alright
ive been through this kind of fight

nothing more to look forward too
only the pain i once knew
so alone i return again
only further and deeper in

i would like to say this didnt affect me
i would love to state it didnt change me
i would love to lie and hide away
but im just not built that way

forever be what never shall
blood be spilt, splattering internal walls
i am torment, i am pain and depression
this is my world, once you made that decision.