Float

7 Comments

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  • Music

    Poem Commentary

    i had to write this for a poetry workshop in my LA class, and i actually kind of like working with couplets!

    Float

    Do you hear the music, floating through the air?
    Makes you laugh, makes you cry, makes you give a care.

    Swirling sound, seems so light, drifting across your thoughts.
    Don't look now, but turn around, and you'll find you're lost. 

    Takes away your every move, removes your common sense,
    you hear the sound, move your feet, and you start to dance.

    Lyrics that move you, make you think, really means a lot.
    Life's planned out, you know who you are, music says you're not.

    Sounds like the ocean, and the rain, beauty in it all,
    music makes you feel so big, when you're really small.

    The tune flits around, makes itself known, spirals through your ears,
    inducing the mindset of screaming fights, the happiness and the fears.

    A dove in my mind, music flying, just a simple bird,
    I'm hanging on to every line, to every single word.

    The rhythm, is almost visible as the song draws to a close,
    the music is in me, of that I'm sure, it's something I really know.  

    Poem Comments

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    KING commented on Float

    01-11-2011

    I try to incorporate a song i like when i read someones work to get a flow and i chose "And i miss you" by SADE. It flowed brilliantly. Finally, someone who can take music and see it for what it is and what it can become and give it to us in a light that humanizes us and humbles us at the same time. :)

    brokenhearted11

    01/11/2011

    thanks! i was hoping for a reaction like this, and i got it(:

    DeepEclipse commented on Float

    12-30-2010

    Its almost like music is subliminal poetry. Warped in feeling too deep to be physical. Both still mysterious to even the musician and the poet. Emotional read.

    brokenhearted11

    12/30/2010

    thanks deep. youre right, much too deep to be physical or emotional or mental or spiritual or anything. its a class of its own.

    amithissecret commented on Float

    12-24-2010

    this is an amazing thoughtful poem i can hear and see everything happening in the poem great write!

    brokenhearted11

    12/24/2010

    thank you! i try to keep it relateable enough, and music is the same in every language. everybody understands music.

    Musicmynded1 commented on Float

    12-14-2010

    wow.. never disappointed Broken.. really impressive write.. wasnt sure if u meant Flirts around.. instead of Flits around.. great poem tho'

    brokenhearted11

    12/14/2010

    thank you!! and i meant flits, but flirts works as well. anyways, thanks!

    angelchaser commented on Float

    12-12-2010

    A whimsical write, a lovely poem, is what you've constructed here. For me as well, musics in my soul, gosh, you're such a dear. A thoroughly enjoyable time I've had, reading this piece of beauty. I only hope that when you read my poems, they move you half as much as yours move me. I loved it, broken. Great job, honey.

    brokenhearted11

    12/13/2010

    thanks!!! and totally, theyre always amazing and they always make an impact. im always left thinking after i read something of yours.

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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