Yonder Wicked Picket

7 Comments

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  • Fantasy

    Yonder Wicked Picket

    The front door is creaky and heavy

    Ensuring the existence of an inside and outside

    The lights flicker on with a deft “FFffuhmp”

    Whenever the hell it wants too

    The entrance hall’s a sea of leather shoes

    Abandoned and lost in plain sight

    Coats garnish the walls with pockets full of forgotten

    Keys and coins singing like birds in a dense woolen forest

    There’s a stair that goes up and a stair that goes down

    Feng Shui and skeletonizing sofas, respectively

    A band of discolored photographs are runnin’ ‘round the living room

    They'll never leave nor love again

    The water ebbs and flows into shower cabin cobweb coves

    Where new worlds are growing in puddles of spent shampoo

    Possessed possessions shift across the floor when no one looks

    And don’t get me started on the remote

    On the plateaus of the ceiling something sinister is amassing

    To kill the carpet while you sleep

    Poem Comments

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    Rygar commented on Yonder Wicked Picket

    10-05-2010

    this is killer young man... i LOVE the line {Coats garnish the walls with pockets full of forgotten} very unique. talented and well versed. well done!

    Springsize commented on Yonder Wicked Picket

    10-05-2010

    First of all, I like your use of oxymoron ambiguity... "we come in peace, leave in pieces"... and your Free Verse Form poem is equally dualistic... and I like your clever control of words and their deviations, "possessed possessions" and your use of description as entering the house --- my favorite "pockets of forgotten, in a dense woolen forest", good creative metaphors for coat... and rye humor when you mention the remote... and then the ending, [as poignant as the whole poem before this part], is kindly detailed as a view inside this house... the last two lines create a plateau that just drops off, and this Reader feels as if there are worlds to be pondered for the end meaning... what exactly is of the ceiling that would, could kill someone in the sleep... bug, spider, layered world or microscopic world ... all leaving questions ... so good poetic 'life in the house' opening, circle and closure that lasts in the imagination of answers...

    stigbohnolsen

    10/05/2010

    I love getting long comments! :D and thank you Springsize, i am humbled. :)

    MindNumbing commented on Yonder Wicked Picket

    10-04-2010

    Your creativity and imagination shine brightly with each and every word. I love the way your mind shifts, almost visually, from one thought to the next... incredible.

    Tetusora commented on Yonder Wicked Picket

    10-03-2010

    Reading this, a smile has curled itself into permanent position on the corner of my mouth - so many clever phrases. I'm glad you found me on here - because it led me to your own works of art, which I will definitely enjoy reading.

    stigbohnolsen

    10/03/2010

    Poets needs readers, and readers need poets and i'm glad to be able to provide in both categories. :)

    rsalassi commented on Yonder Wicked Picket

    10-03-2010

    Your using the famous shower scene in Psycho as one of your many metaphors reveals a cleverness pn you part that sets you apart from the rest of us. Excellent.

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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