HE AND SHE

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  • Devotion

    HE AND SHE

    HE AND SHE

     

    He lost his mind while looking at

    Her face at first time itself

     

    She has entered into his heart

    At first sight

     

    He was much happier when he

    Saw her

     

    It has added him in the river

    Of love wherein he immersed

     

    Is she a queen or an angel?

    Is she is coming from heaven?

     

    It is not known, but it is something

    Different looking like a bird of white

     

    Sleeping well by closed eyes

    Gives me peace of beauty

     

    Strom leaving behind peace

    After passing over the border

     

    Birth is just without my efforts

    Grown up just without my knowledge

     

    Making efforts without my knowledge

    Got my result without my efforts

     

    Walking down the hill and reached

    The floor with my little efforts

    Though I am older than my brothers

    And sisters, I cannot walk without stick

     

    Moon and sun too old to this earth

    No one knows how old they are!

     

    -ayyan-

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    FreeBird02 commented on HE AND SHE

    01-24-2011

    Very interesting depiction of love and admiration of the one who brings so much happiness into your heart's world. your stanza' structures had catch-able twists this kept the flow of your feelings alive.
    Reply to Comment

    ayyan

    01/25/2011

    I thank you for yopur very nice writing of comments

    Redhead505 commented on HE AND SHE

    01-24-2011

    You might want to try the word "storm" rather than "strom", I believe this was a typo. Also, as I read the piece, I felt a pause after the word "different" in the fourth stanza. I wonder what a comma would do there. There again is that wonderful visualistic style I enjoy so much. Thank you again for sharing your work.
    Reply to Comment

    ayyan

    01/24/2011

    YOU PL ADOPT 'STROM' . STORM MAY BE GOOD

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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