cutting wasn’t just a problem
it was a parasite

bleeding was my addiction
steal was my self-medication

blades made the crazy’s run
slices silenced the demons
        silenced the screaming
 scorched away my pain

fighting fire with fire

pain to realize pain

cuts to heal bruises

brutality towards myself to keep me civil for you

letting them in to keep them out

relying on metal to rely on me

let want take over need

taking from myself to give to me

Playing a game to lose myself

Trying to shake them off when  I really didn’t want to

Evidence left hidden tucked away

Hiding from help

Leaving me lost in the oxymoron that i am.

Taking to leave me wanting

Keeping quiet to keep hazardous

Taking steps only to fall back

taking over my life

Lost

So lost

The need still haunts me

Once a mutilator

Always a mutilator

But I left all of that behind

Left my addictions to get lost in everlasting love.