In Fields Of Broken Daisies

9 Comments

Tags:
  • Death
    • ,
  • Passion
    • ,
  • Sadness
    • ,
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    This was an assignment for my Creative Writing class.

    In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    In fields of broken daisies
    we held hands
    under a shattered sky
    and falling stars.
    Pollen particles
    danced around us
    as the wind sang
    a haunting lullaby.
    Your blue eyes glimmered
    as we slowed danced
    in their reflection.
    I felt your heart beat pulsate
    through the delicate air
    as I rested my head on your shoulder.
    White petals fluttered aimlessly
    and rested at our feet.
    You'll never understand
    how to fix the sky
    but I guess that's always been up to me.
    A smile spreads across your face
    and a thousand white clouds exploded.
    Then we danced
    in fields of broken daisies
    as burning clouds
    fell down around us.

    By: Brandi Deacon
    2009

    Poem Comments

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    SerenityWintirs commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    09-08-2011

    I agree with the other comments. "...touch of magic", "...fairytale effect", "surrealist..." yeah, all of that. The words and feeling of the piece seem tinged with definate sadness but the magical imagery that piece conjures seem to soften the darker emotions and allude to an almost hopeful outcome.
    Reply to Comment

    ForeverPoet commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    05-12-2010

    wow......such eloquent vision. nice write Brandy. well done.
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    05/12/2010

    Thank you so much!

    Danny31294 commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    05-11-2010

    Dang this is awsome I love the images pop up in my mind so clear il be reading and commenting thanks for a nice image to keep in my head for the rest of today :)(:
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    05/12/2010

    Aww... Thanks, Danny. :)

    SavVySam commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    03-15-2010

    A touch of magic sprinkle liberally throughout this piece, lends to it's fairy like effect...beautiful! "burning clouds fell down around us" What an incredible descriptive phrase! Love this!
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    03/15/2010

    Aww... Thanks. :) You're sweet.

    dahlusion commented on In Fields Of Broken Daisies

    02-02-2010

    You are, from the very breath of your soul, a surrealist, and I bow to you....lovely!!
    Reply to Comment

    BringMeBullets

    02/03/2010

    Thank you much. Your comments always mean a lot.

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

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