You don't know me, don't pretend like you do
You never will, because I won't let you
I wear a mask to hide my true self
The me that you know is really someone else
You don't feel my hurt, my pain, my aches
I'll never tell you about my mistakes
You won't shed the tears that fall from my eyes
You'll never know the truth, you just see the lies
You see only what I allow you to see
So you never have to know what's inside of me
On the inside I am weak but I show you I'm strong
I smile through the pain so you think nothing's wrong
I am dying inside but you will never know
Because the anger I feel I will never show
I sit by myself and write all my poems
This is the only time I feel at home
I can't let you see what lingers inside
I can't tell you how many tears I've cried
You don't know about the dreams that wake me up at night
You won't understand the battles I'm forced to fight
And I have to be strong for all of my friends
When they feel like their worlds are coming to an end
I give them advice, my insight I share
But when it comes to my hurt, half of them don't care
So I don't open up to anyone anymore
So I don't feel the rejection Iv'e felt before
Every time I let down my walls, my heart is broken into pieces
And my anger rises and my heartache increases
I spend all my nights sitting up all alone
Watching tv and playing on my phone
My dreams have chased away all my sanity
Now a pleasant dream is just a faded fantasy
But still I smile when I see your face
Because I don't want to be the cause of your disgrace
So I let you believe I am happy and free
And nothing can stop me from being me
Maybe one day I'll let you see the truth
And how my life was taken away when I was just a youth
I'll show you my fear, my anger, my pain
So you know what I do, I don't do it in vain
But if that day comes, I know what you'll believe
The same shit that everyone else thinks of me
I am nothing but a liar, I make it all up
For the attention I get cause I'm stuck up
The only people who know the real Christina Graham
Are the ones who I know will always understand
For them I am thankful, they know who they are
They are my light, the shine in my stars
But you will never be one of the few
Because I still hide the real me from you
So before you judge and talk about me too
Just think you don't know the shit that I've been through
We all have our stories, and mine is untold
But you already know that my heart is ice cold
My eyes hold my secrets like the deep blue sea
And you will never know what's inside the real me