Battle With Myself

it's hard for me to look into your eyes
and not see
the love you hold,
hold for her
the way you talk to her
the laughter that only she can get from you
and that smile only she brings forth
how can i compete with that
i feel lost
even when you hold my hand
i can feel my heart break
and it never breaks even
i feel like i'm losing this battle
this battle against myself
how can you not see
see that isn't me you hold on to
i'm losing this battle
the battle with myself
i'm not the one you kiss goodnight
i'm not there when you hold tight
i'm locked here, in this mind
and this perfect insanity
is driving me mad
i feel like i'm pushing you
driving you away
can't you look past her
look into my eyes
find me there
locked inside this perfect insanity
you say you have many reasons for both arguments
to stay with me or leave
and i can only think on one for each
stay with me, because you love me and i love you
leave me, because we are stressful to each other
but i beg you to stay
my love for you is strong
and i'm willing to change
hell i already have changed
so much and given up so much
to be with you
i am devoted to you
live or die it's my choice
and i know i won't want to live
in a world where you weren't mine
it's tough on you
but look, i'm here
and i want to work through this
because my love for you
is the only edge i have in this
losing battle against myself