when I stop myself

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    when I stop myself

    when I stop myself

    from turning

    I float out in space

    alone with your face

    our faces

    out in space

    but it’s not really me

    it isn’t really you

    just two faces

    revolving around

    the earth below

    floating above the world

    like stars in the sky

    we pass each other by

    reaching out with our light

    but we only move

    away

    when the light of day arises

    we are just unseen holes

    in a clear blue sky

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    shallenemcgrath commented on when I stop myself

    02-17-2011

    God I really love this poem but the title needs work. I don't get the first two lines at the beginning of the poem. Would the idea work without those lines? To maintain the continuity of the poem you might consider where it says "it's no" and the next line "isn't" to change one or the other to make a repetition. The other thing that comes to mind is that hanger one word line "away" I think that you might want to mess with your line breaks to lend the idea more power at the end. But that part from "I float out in space" to "reaching out with our light" is just phenominal poetry.
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    Teardrops commented on when I stop myself

    02-07-2011

    One is the loneness number . Some day I hope to find love again and for you i wish this to great poem . Thank you for the dream walk Marie
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    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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