Buried Secrets

Wake up alone
No sound but the tone
Of the alarm that I set
Going off on my phone
Open my eyes
Reinhabit the form
Emotions disguise
The skewed from the norm
Dark clouds of the mind
Roll in like a storm
Leaves me flooded with memory
That's tattered and torn
And I know that this process
Has something in store for me
So I cannot go lifeless
When there is so much more for me
The more that I fight this
Even more it takes over me
Trying to hide this
From so many close to me
Concealing these feelings
In my everyday dealings
Solitude is my witness
When I am revealing
My loss and my sadness
Felt hard from them stealing
My innocence, my choice
My power, my voice
Now it all floats around
In an unstable space
Snippets of memory
Harass me at length
Tidbits of sanity
Eluding my strength
Morsels of manipulation
Were fed to my mind
The throes of devastation
Caused me to go blind
To the truth that these assaults
Never were my fault
But I took those poisoned thoughts
And locked them tight up in the vault
Where they burrowed like mice
Sneaking out on their own
Some buried themselves deeper
Hoping never to be shown
And some jump in my face
Making themselves known
While others escape
And sleep deep in their holes
Is it safe to awaken
A memory that slumbers
Or will one unlock many
To overrun me in numbers?
And if I did stir
Those dredges of dread
What would occur
Within my head?
Afraid I may have to part
With my sanity momentarily
To rejuvenate my heart
And all this life holds for me