TRAINS RUINED MY WIFE (LIFE)
T'was in the year of '88when the story I'll relate
happened to me an' my beautiful Belle.
We were travlin' by train
to a place called Fort Payne,
an' I want you to know all went well
till the doors burst apart
an' gave all such a start -
now begins the story I'll tell.
Three robers stepped in
each wearin' a grin
as their six-guns show'd in plain sight.
They moved down the isle
(I wished then t'was a mile)
a stealin' on left an' on right.
When they came to my Belle
she holler'd like hell.
Oh, ya've never seen such a fight.
She scared 'em with thunder
an' scattered their plunder
an' hit 'em with all that she had.
The words that she used
weren't very well choosed,
an' my beautiful Belle made me sad.
But the blaggers she caught
an' the money she brought
back to all, an' all she made glad.
Then I'll never forget
(with my shirtfront all wet)
she cried, oh how frighten'd she'd got.
As she slept on my arm
I forgot my alarm
for we all could have easily got shot!
On a beautiful day
quite early in May,
t'was then that we both tied the knot.
But from that day to this
I've never known bliss,
"Sweet" Belle, she never became.
I've tried to be nice
but her heart's made of ice,
she just has to live up to her fame.
Now I'm goin' away,
an' I'm fixin' to stay.
But I'm goin' by horseback - not train!
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