RE: Limericks

Madame LeRue.........yeah, I've known a few...........

There's a zoo in Kalamazoo
Who's owner is Madame LeRue
She'll cage you like a tiger
Never let you wander
Till she shows what a whip can do.

RE: Limericks

she has a dungeon in new york
some say she resembles Bjork
she wants to be paddled
tied up and straddled
by a man named David O'rourke

RE: Limericks

gogant i find you submissive
if not then very permissive
i like my men stronger
will love them much longer
if not they find me dismissive

RE: Limericks

So, you want strong and forceful, eh….

I knocked her down without a frown
pulled Jadee's dainty ruffles down
she begged for mercy
without a curtsy
O, as I shoved and heaved unbound.

RE: Limericks

LMAO.........YOU GOT TO GIVE A MIN TO COME BACK AT YOU WITH THIS.

RE: RE: Limericks

OH, BOY.....I think I'll go pump some iron......... [)

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

So, you want strong and forceful, eh…

Some good horsing, George.................................LOL

I knocked her down without a frown
pulled Jadee's dainty ruffles down
she begged for mercy
without a curtsy
O, as I shoved and heaved unbound.

[/b]

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-09-2010 at 05:22:46 AM

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RE: RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by cousinsoren

Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

LMAO.........YOU GOT TO GIVE A MIN TO COME BACK AT YOU WITH THIS.

Watch out ,George ! She isn't half-done yet..
Yuh playin' wit' fiah!
.
I love her wit and her laugh, .
That lovely cuddly naughty cat.
..Nice boys and nice girls can be rude.
They shouldn't be prudishly prude
Fun and laughter not regret.

She is a purry softy cat,
O:Lord, that Jazzy fete!
She has softy paws, I bet,
I swear to that ,
And sharp claws hidden in her furry slot.

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-09-2010 at 07:17:12 AM

RE: Limericks

That man Gogant is quite complex
Bet he has big muscles to flex
Stole my dainty ruffle
Screams he tries to muffle
I'm perplexed by the effects
Of his sex

Last edited by JadedJezzabel 11-09-2010 at 01:38:40 PM

RE: Limericks

Jaded can be quite demanding
Alls good with an understanding
Doesn't like to play games
With losers and lames
Sex with her must be outstanding

RE: Limericks

Cute. I always figure, if a quicky doesn't take at least two hours, why bother.

RE: Limericks

Met a new man named Londo
Should ask him to buy me a condo
I think he will
To get a cheap thrill
If not I'll marry Fernando

RE: RE: Limericks

LOL! LOL! What horsing around !

Quote:

Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

Met a new man named Londo
Should ask him to buy me a condo
I think he will
To get a cheap thrill
If not I'll marry Fernando

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-09-2010 at 06:28:10 PM

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RE: RE: Limericks

WATCH OUT! SHE AIN"T HALF-DONE YET!
Who is she?
Andromeda or Cleopatra?
You got to have a jet
To cool her hot and wet,
Or she will fuss and fret.


quote="JadedJezzabel"]

Jaded can be quite demanding
Alls good with an understanding
Doesn't like to play games
With losers and lames
Sex with her must be outstanding:

kiss:[/quote]

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-09-2010 at 06:50:29 PM

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RE: Limericks

I take no pride in who I stride
don't matter to me who I ride
I shoot from the hip
Don't gimme no lip
Cousin take your horsy outside.

RE: RE: Limericks

[

Ostrich with head buried in sand..................LOL





quote="gogant"]

I take no pride in who I stride
don't matter to me who I ride
I shoot from the hip
Don't gimme no lip
Cousin take your horsy outside.[/quote]


I cannot bury my head in sand,
When you speak so big and grand.
I got to tie you with a rope,
Lend you a bar of soap
To purify your wild west wit. .

\***********************************************************************************************


:lol:..........................George ,when are you going to capitulate? . This thing now is becoming like a tropical storm...................... Do you know the tale of the tiger's tail? I read it when I was a boy. It took me twenty or more years to see the humour and irony of it. Aggieprof, certainly opened a can of worms,but it's a lot of fun..........UGH! .....: Farwell and good night to you and?? .............................Jaded...............LOL

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-10-2010 at 08:30:21 AM

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RE: Limericks

WHEN WILL GOGANT CAPITULATE
WHEN I DECIDE TO FORNICATE
SHOCKED WHEN I SURRENDER
SHOWING THAT I'M TENDER
WILL SHOW HIM HOW TO IMMITATE
THE WAY THAT I STIMULATE
MYSELF........

this goes off form a little....but it's the best i got right now

RE: RE: RE: Limericks

Your wisdom is contagious, Cousin........Have a pleasant day....

Quote:

Originally Posted by cousinsoren

[

Ostrich with head buried in sand..................LOL





quote="gogant"]

I take no pride in who I stride
don't matter to me who I ride
I shoot from the hip
Don't gimme no lip
Cousin take your horsy outside.

I cannot bury my head in sand,
When you speak so big and grand.
I got to tie you with a rope,
Lend you a bar of soap
To purify your wild west wit. .

\***********************************************************************************************


:lol:..........................George ,when are you going to capitulate? . This thing now is becoming like a tropical storm...................... Do you know the story of the tiger's tail? I read it when I was a boy. It took me twenty or more years to see the humour and irony of it. Aggieprof, certainly opened a can of worms,but it's a lot of fun..........UGH! .....: Farwell and good night to you and?? .............................Jaded...............LOL[/quote]

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RE: RE: Limericks

Okie dokie, I'll let you go for the night, and I will live the last line
of this limerick as I wallow in slumber....

RE: Limericks

Ok.. Ok.. I've been offline for a couple of weeks, just moved and am waiting for the Internet to be set up in the new place... But a limerick I think I can do...

First, let me start by saying that one of my favorite limerick authors when I was a kid was Bennet Cerf. He was a master. Limericks are supposed to be a little risque', and he delivered that as much as he could considering his era. I think many of his works would now be considered misogynistic. But that too was because in his time people hadn't had their awareness raised yet....

I once knew a girl from St. Paul
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
But the dress caught on fire
And burned her entire
Front Page,, Sporting Section and all!

A damsel seductive and handsome
Got stuck in a sleeping room transom.
When she offered much gold
For release she was told
That the view was worth more than the ransom!

(Those two by Bennet Cerf) Now lets see if I can write one...

There once was a Suessian cat
Wearing nothing but bow tie and hat.
He told his friend Freddy
That he had to be ready
To mount them when he was at bat!

I should be back soon. I hope you all missed me... hehe

gmcookie


.

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

Met a new man named Londo
Should ask him to buy me a condo
I think he will
To get a cheap thrill
If not I'll marry Fernando

RE: RE: RE: Limericks

YOU AIN"T LAUGHING, IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH LIKE A HORSE!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Londo

Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

Met a new man named Londo
Should ask him to buy me a condo
I think he will
To get a cheap thrill
If not I'll marry Fernando

Gogant, what's up with your honey?
I think she's just after my money
I bought her a condo
Then she and Fernando
Ran off to a place that's more sunny

BREAKING NEWS

Yeah, I thought she would run to Jamaica,
But she ran without Fernando
To the sunny Riviera
To sport with a French gigolo
By the name of Monsieur Uguesswho. .

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-10-2010 at 09:05:42 AM

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RE: RE: Limericks

RE: Limericks

Londo,

I have this unfortunate gift with poetry. I seem to have very good long term memory when it comes to metered verse. For example, I memorized "The Raven" in 8th grade and still remember every word of it. The same is true of Steven Vincent Benet's poem "The Mountain Whippoorwill", which is even longer than the Raven.

So that limerick is one I remember reading in a Bennet Cerf book when I was a kid. I think I have it right word for word, but after 50 years or so who knows for sure?

When I Google that poem I do find this anthology of lewd limericks published in 1944 that has a version of the same poem. So who knows if my memory is right. I have always thought it was a Bennet Cerf creation:

http://www.csufresno.edu/folklore/drinkingsongs/html/books-and-manuscripts/1940s/1944-to-solace-the-bind/index.htm

Incidentally, if you like limericks, there are some really good ones in that anthology!

gmcookie

RE: Limericks

Lol... Here's one from that 1944 anthology I posted above:

A careless young woman named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus;
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And picked up her anus in Dallas.