RE: RE: Limericks

YOU AIN"T LAUGHIMG , IF YOU CAN"T LAUGH LIKE A HORSE

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmcookie

Lol... Here's one from that 1944 anthology I posted above:

A careless young woman named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus;
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And picked up her anus in Dallas.

Last edited by cousinsoren 11-10-2010 at 05:15:25 PM

Quote

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RE: Limericks

a lovely lady unwed
often took her cellphone to bed
she hated its ring
and rarely talked on the thing
but set it to vibrate instead

RE: Limericks

He's kinda cute that guy gmcookie
But I think he might be a rookie
I'll turn him into a vet
With the plans I have set
Will give him a lookie
He'll beg for some nookie
Then have me begging for mercy I bet

extended the form just a little

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueHeron

a lovely lady unwed
often took her cellphone to bed
she hated its ring
and rarely talked on the thing
but set it to vibrate instead

RE: Limericks

I have a great idea…well, at least a new one. Why don't we pressure OP's management to pick a limerick a week to add to volume 3. There are a lot of good ones in this thread…..that's a start. If they refuse, well then, we will threaten to boycott their next anthology.

Limerick: a five-line humorous poem with regular meter and rhyme patterns, often dealing with a risqué subject and typically opening with a line such as “There was a young lady called Jenny.”
Lines one, two, and five rhyme with each other and have three metrical feet, and lines three and four rhyme with each other and have two metrical feet, giving the poem a catchy bouncy rhythm.

Now, if there is an academic poet out there, maybe they could explain what "Three, and two, metrical feet" mean.

RE: Limericks

That picture WAS me Jezzabell
But time has worn me to a shell.
You'd have better luck
With a young man to buck
Not a geezer who's hearing death's knell!

Last edited by gmcookie 11-12-2010 at 08:51:46 PM

RE: RE: Limericks

RE: Limericks

THERE ONCE WAS A LADY NAMED SUZIE
WHOM EVERYONE THOUGHT WAS A FLOOZIE
I TRIED MY GOOD LUCK
AND ASKED FOR A FUCK
BUT SUZIE REFUSED TO SEDUCE ME

WRITTEN BY MY GOOD FRIEND TONY

Last edited by JadedJezzabel 11-12-2010 at 08:47:53 PM

RE: Limericks

There once was a little child
who ran through fields,beguiled.
By the end of the day,many would say,
Dam- this child is too wild,
we need to put her away!:

RE: Limericks

This isn't meant for any of the fine ladies here....

There once was a maiden of France
Who refused to wear underpants
Til one day she tripped
On a man unzipped
Now she knows how to dirty dance.

RE: Limericks

OK... this one will probably offend a lot of people.... But it is another old one from that 1944 anthology I posted above. Think of this as a lesson in Cultural Anthropology....

There once was a bishop of Kings
Who was fond of Madeira and things,
But his greatest desire
Was a lad in the choir
Whose ass was like jelly on springs.

Hey... I didn't write it. I'm just reporting history here....

RE: Limericks

Here's a cleaner one from that anthology to make up for the last one I posted:

There was a young lady named Wilde
Who kept herself quite undefiled
By thinking of Jesus
And social diseases,
And the bother of having a child.

RE: Limericks

Here's another classic from the old memory vault:

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went around belly to belly
Because in their haste
They'd used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

RE: Limericks

Londo......LMAO hate it when that happenes

RE: Limericks

Really? Turn around, let me see.

RE: Limericks

there once was a man from kalmazoo
who asked to see her booie hoo
she showed him her ass
while passing some gas
last time he act like a lookie loo

RE: Limericks

D'oh!!

RE: Limericks

Hey........what the hay.........

Londo and Jezzy went walkin'
When Jezzy fine'ly stopped talkin'
Londo slipped her a kiss
Jezzy was filled with bliss
And grabbed his throbbin' outcroppin'

RE: Limericks

There once was a poet named Londo
Who's world was Bizzaaro and Mondo
So he looked in the glass
At his wrinkled old ass
Then filled in those wrinkles with Bondo!

hehe

RE: Limericks

A poet called gmcookie
Was having a sagging wookie
So he bought some Cialis
From the big Pleasure Palace
Now he says, "Lookie, lookie!!

RE: Limericks

Lol!

OK, let me try one in that same vein.... (so to speak)

There once was a geezer named Beck
Who bought Viagra up in Quebec
But that foolish old goat
Got it stuck in his throat
And wound up with just a stiff neck!

Last edited by gmcookie 11-20-2010 at 02:23:35 PM

RE: Limericks

While cooking the Thanksgiving turkey
my recipe plans were all murky
I put the bird in to cook
never gave it a second look
now my family is chewing on jerky

Happy Turkey Day All

RE: Limericks

All you men that write poetry sweet
Can sweep most women off their feet
It starts out with red roses
We end up in psychosis
Defeated depleted and incomplete

Last edited by JadedJezzabel 11-20-2010 at 09:08:35 PM

RE: Limericks

Here's to all those lonely, lovely ladies out there in OPLand...

I met a lovely lass of white
She captured my heart's delight
Kissed her O' so tenderly
Beneath the willow tree
I Love her still, with all my might...

:::::::::::::gogant::::::::::::::::::::

Last edited by gogant 11-20-2010 at 11:43:52 PM

Limericks are good for your health....

What we need are more funny poets who don't mind horsing around.
Write a limerick......forget the sonnets and videos for awhile..........
We are still waiting for papa to talk to the brass of OP, cause he got style.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Londo

Originally Posted by gogant

I have a great idea…well, at least a new one. Why don't we pressure OP's management to pick a limerick a week to add to volume 3. There are a lot of good ones in this thread…..that's a start. If they refuse, well then, we will threaten to boycott their next anthology.

Limerick: a five-line humorous poem with regular meter and rhyme patterns, often dealing with a risqué subject and typically opening with a line such as “There was a young lady called Jenny.”
Lines one, two, and five rhyme with each other and have three metrical feet, and lines three and four rhyme with each other and have two metrical feet, giving the poem a catchy bouncy rhythm.

Now, if there is an academic poet out there, maybe they could explain what "Three, and two, metrical feet" mean.

I'll second that motion. All in favor say aye... all others, OUT THE AIR LOCK!