RE: Limericks

There once was a family with drama
They showed no respect for their mama
They lied and they stole
Believed the lies that they told
Not giving a fuck about karma

RE: RE: Limericks

RE: Limericks

Remember, Limericks are supposed to be a little risque'...

An elevator girl named Doris
Went down with the menfolk of course
I must hasten to say
In the professional way
Until she got stuck between floors!

RE: Limericks

That elevator girl named Doris
Also worked for a pimp named Boris
When e'er she went down
She wiped out his frown
So much so, he bought her a Taurus

RE: Limericks

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A lady from Honolulu
Tried working a little voodoo
Looked at me funny
Called me her honey
Now I'm just another lulu.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RE: Limericks

At the beginning of twenty eleven
I fell in love with an angel from heaven
I called her Sweetie Pie
and then thought I would die
'cuz her real name was actually Kevin

-blueheron

RE: Limericks

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There was a young lady of Spain
Got hotter at playing the game
She shouted "Don't Stop"
To the fella on top
As he plugged away in the rain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last edited by gogant 01-03-2011 at 12:09:48 AM

RE: Limericks

there once was a lady, proper all day
walking a country lane in the month of may
she was brainy, curvy and fine
asked her to share some wine
ended up kissing all night in the hay

RE: Limericks

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I fella poet named bad bad bear
Tussled with a cute lady fair
Sadly said to him
My you're lacking vim
So she left him de-erected there.
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Last edited by gogant 01-07-2011 at 09:06:05 PM

RE: Limericks

there once was an old geezer from Texas named George
kids whined and whined, he'd eaten all their porridge
far .. far.. fast, he tried to run away
not before begging their old mama for a roll in the hay
BadBadBear was called to kick his @$$, leaving him discouraged

RE: Limericks

Hey Bear......your limericks leave a lot to be desired....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Cherokee maiden so fair
Had to laugh at ragged old Bear
When he asked why
She quickly replied
You remind me of Fred Astair
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Last edited by gogant 01-08-2011 at 12:40:55 AM

RE: Limericks

Hey George... cool, have to write a better one for you...Lol
*******************************************************************

there once was old geezer George from out west
tried to kiss the ladies, they slapped him with zest
he chased them here and chased them there
deep into the forest he ran into BadBadBear
BadBadBear stomped on him, old geezer George took a rest

RE: Limericks

There once was a barmaid named Babs
Let all of her customers run tabs
Her boss gave her the boot
Said she stole all his loot
When in fact she gave him the crabs:

RE: Limericks

Babs, that barmaid of note
(the one of which Julie wrote)
Had been given the boot
But Oh! What a hoot
She got even with the old goat

RE: Limericks

His next barmaid came from Belize
She'd seduced him with her striptease
Now he regretted firing ol' Babs
Yep, Babs with all of her crabs
'Cause from the new girl he got a disease!



(Hey, y'all were the ones that said limericks were supposed to be risque!)

RE: Limericks

there once was Bab's boss from the big city
he couldn't find a clean barmaid, what a pity
he searched everywhere high and low
hired his next barmaid from the ghetto
julieanne, you're up since you started this ditty

Last edited by BadBadBear 01-08-2011 at 03:16:34 PM

RE: Limericks

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I thought i would slip this in for Julie.......or, whoever,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is this handsome young devil
Gogant's the name of this rebel
When he whips it out
The ladies all shout
"PLEASE, dig in me with your shovel"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last edited by gogant 01-08-2011 at 06:13:50 PM

RE: Limericks

A Catholic OB man from Thyme
Passed contraceptive advice down the line,
“In inclimate weather
Keep both knees together,
And that’ll work most of the time".

Last edited by devaamido 01-08-2011 at 11:52:51 PM

RE: Limericks

Just getting back to the limericks ...but while we're having fun.....


This "rebel" who claimed he was hung
Spoke with a silver tongue
But the rumors seemed sure
His shovel was full of manure
Twas no truth to the song that he sung

RE: Limericks

Methinks the lady doth protest too much
The problem’s cause could also be thus:
Your words hot and heavy
May tickle her Chevy
But yew cain’t shift ‘er not usin’ the clutch

RE: Limericks

Dear Babs ended up in El Paso
where she served more than just chips and queso.
Said all the illegals,
“Watch out, mi amigos,
Meez Babs give you mucho el crabos."

RE: Limericks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh good, Ari got into it…..hmmmm..........

When you come to Texas beware
Of the gal with no underwear
When she squats, look out
Just stand back and shout
"Bring me a bucket with no beer"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RE: Limericks

Ben Dover and Eileen, his wife
Wanted to spice up their love life
So they picked up a pro
That went by the name: Flo
But turned out to be Mack ‘the knife’

RE: Limericks

An avant garde teacher of artistic reform
Alleged, washing semen off a schoolroom black board
“I'm real proud of Jimmy”,
She intoned with a shimee.
“We consider him one of our a newest art forms”

Last edited by devaamido 01-17-2011 at 12:02:01 AM

RE: Limericks

So George went on down to El Paso
Where he drank tequila and Cuervo.
When it came time to pay
He said “there’s no way,
my sweet Babs took all of my pesos.”