"The Somnambulists"

9 Comments

Tags:
  • Sleep Walking
    • MalikPeterson
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    Poem Commentary

    This is a collaboration between me and KtIrish...do enjoy if you please :)

    "The Somnambulists"
    The Somnambulists

    I'm asleep when I walk...deep...
    down into the off...peak...
    hours where I talk...sleep...
    the showers do accost me...
    the reigns parade haughty...
    my aim remains paltry...
    my marinuge was made salty...
    but I lay the blame...off me.  

    Through harangue I claim lofty...
    that I lion tame softly... 
    I lie and maim oftly...
    disguised in frames off beat.

    Lacking cowardice...I fought sleep...
    and was taught to keep a taut sheath...
    so my weapon of choice...aught be...
    a cold-hearted moxie...

    ...inner chest...frosty.

    Going through the motions completely jaded...unaware...
    of what I have done here...furthermore...I just don't care.
    Pajama-clad...iron-clad...I have had...an evil air...
    my environment...these fires lit...furthermore...I just don't care.
    Lecheries...infest...disease...unbridled sin...after there...
    vacant stares...vacant wombs...makeshift tombs...
    furthermore...I just don't care.  

    Just don't wake me when I'm dreaming...
    Just don't wake me when I'm sleeping...
    Just don't mind me when I'm talking...
    Just don't mind me...I'm sleep-walking

    You want to blame me, 
    But can you really? 
    I can't see what's in front of my eyes, 
    Not when the moon starts to rise. 
    If only you could see what's in my head, 
    After the sun goes down, I'm dead. 
    Dead to the world, and not soon to wake. 
    This cold beatless heart, won't make, 
    Those reassuring sounds of life, 
    In this dream world all I have is strife. 
    I walk through the shady-grey outer edge, 
    I'm on a high and dangerous narrow ledge, 
    Tied up in my own reality, 
    Blossoming with insanity. 
    I could care less about what's outside, 
    And this apathy has spread world-wide. 
    All of us captured in the sticky web, sadistic. 
    Will you join the ranks...
    of the somnambulistic?

    Just don't wake me when I'm dreaming...
    Just don't wake me when I'm sleeping...
    Just don't mind me when I'm talking...
    Just don't mind me...

    I'm sleep-walking





    © 2009-2010 Malik Peterson, Caity Finley. All Rights Reserved.















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    Madelynn commented on "The Somnambulists"

    02-13-2010

    Ok, this is what I love about this one Malik; the art I found to be so insanely crafted in this piece lies in the way you took reality of mankinds outlook as a general towards society, and your waking perception, and laced it with this dreamy-surreal kind of subconscience thought patten. Really one of the first of its kind, as far as I have read! Although other poets touch on the 'gray' areas of subliminal word design, you have went beyond the factor, and vividly brought the 'subject' in which you wrote clearly for us to swallow. The anger, and the opinion was almost fed to us, by your spoon-yet, still you returned to your moment of calm, keeping the piece in your complete control! Not easy to pull off, yet you have-with brilliant technique. You are as much an amature, as I am a hairy, mole lady w/a purple birthmark!!-lol,-even if time dictates for me to become a hairy mole lady, and I get some weird purple tattoo-you will still always be a pro at your craft!-smiles,winks,and thanx for the house!!Maddi
    Reply to Comment

    MalikPeterson

    02/18/2010

    Well thank you Miss Maddi for another lovely and thoughtful comment. I am glad that something I wrote can leave such an impression on a person that it causes them to leave such an in depth commentary on my work...but of course this work is not mine alone...Miss Caity dropped by for a spell...because she too had a story to tell :) Please...think twice before you get that tattoo lol...and you are very welcome for that house :)

    Madelynn

    02/18/2010

    Dang! To late, I'm an act on impulse kinda gal-the tattoo isn't too bad really..I mean if ya dont mind forehead-tattoos, I guess!!-lol, besides, my bangs cover it up when I gotta go somwhere fancy,lol!! Im such a 'tool' sometimes, I swear to pete!!-I see now where you mentioned sweet Caity. Ill hop over to her pad, and give her a shout..she's so amazing too..later,Maddi

    Rygar commented on "The Somnambulists"

    02-06-2010

    awesome job guys, amazing when two poetic minds come together and harmoniously play off of each other.
    Reply to Comment

    MalikPeterson

    02/10/2010

    Thanks for stopping by Ry...I appreciate your time and your comments.

    WordSlinger commented on "The Somnambulists"

    02-05-2010

    Ok you two, I love it, you know don't you hate it when your dream is kicking good, and the phone rings, or the alarm rings, happens everytime, and then when your off that day to sleep in, bamm, no dreams, lol, you got to love the pranksters, that run this world, ty WS
    Reply to Comment

    MalikPeterson

    02/10/2010

    Thanks John...you do have the most interesting comments lol.

    SILKYTWEED commented on "The Somnambulists"

    02-02-2010

    Bravo....this is magnificent piece....the flow and "swagger" is subtle but very effective....now I have another favorite...thanks for sharing!
    Reply to Comment

    MalikPeterson

    02/10/2010

    Thanks silk...and you are welcome...I am glad you dug it...and appreciate you stopping by and letting it be known.

    jademelissa74 commented on "The Somnambulists"

    02-02-2010

    A well crafted piece. Wow! Sharp and vivid imagery. A great collaboration indeed. Keep on writing and exploring your minds. Great write!
    Reply to Comment

    MalikPeterson

    02/10/2010

    thanks jade...you are always appreciated :)

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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