The Letter
I thought of almost everything
Hiding the car keys at night
The password on the net
The long distance block on the phone
Restrictions:
No calls
Then calls in your the living room only
Then calls in your room
as I trusted you more.
Checking outside your window
Reading notes found in your pockets
Giving you extra chores
Loving you when you broke my heart
I thought of almost everthing
Except how much pain I would feel
After you were gone.
You are everywhere
Your earrings
Your make-up
Your candy wrappers in the drawer
Even your razor in the shower stall
Reminders of you in every room
Pictures of you on the fridge
The "Love you forever" note you wrote to me
I hold you in my heart
Remembering when you were small or sick
When you let me comfort you, hold you, love you
Letting go of you is like cutting off my arms
I want you to be safe and feel loved
No matter where you live
A part of me will always be with you
I lost a daughter before
And thought I would never be asked
To give up another
It is a deep, forgotten yet familiar pain
One that I wish on no one
I know that your safety and happiness
Are all that I can hope for now
Be well sweet Hannah
Love you so big it hurts.
Mom
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