Driving along in the time of night

Looking at all and sundry Christmas light

Houses lit up with goodwill and cheer

From car window I stare out and peer.

These strangers take time and care

Why is my heart and mind not there?

Body and soul seems void of emotion

Brain is full of dark commotion.

Tired of living with me where do I go

In a strange land a haven I do not know

Where does one escape to in time of despair?

There must be sanctuary but how does one get there?

Endless miles continue to pass by

Nothing in me not even to cry

I’m an alien in a distant land

A seahorse swimming in desert sand

How I crave for some thought and feeling

Some tender love, warmth and healing.

Others Christmas glowing on houses so bright

Only exemplify my feelings tonight

Their happy light is my sad black

On this world I want to turn my back

But instead I turn around the car

I’ve already driven way to far

Scared of living but scared of being dead