Sonnet 3

21 Comments

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  • Dreams
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  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    I am writing a series of poems with someone I love very much, I wrote sonnet 1 and she wrote sonnet 2 and we will alternate back and forth and link each poem to the one that follows in the commentary, here is the link to hers, Sonnet 2 - http://www.originalpoetry.com/sonnet-2-my-midnight-sky - When Sonnet 4 is complete I will link it as well.

    Sonnet 3
    To imagine our love in a slumbers dream
    Meeting in the abstract regions of my mind
    You are always welcome if you choose to believe
    Deep past my cerebral we will climb
    Where the seconds seem to pass like the hours
    Love mists the air to swim in your eyes gleam
    As you seduce me with your superchick powers
    I fall swiftly under your spell and we sing C'est la vie
    But fortunate am I, for when I awake
    Laying next to me is my dream come true
    Then you open your eyes just as mine begin to break
    And you whisper softly to me 'I love you'
    So long as I shall dream and rise each passing day
    In every which way, my loves depth I promise to convey



    Poem Comments

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    stellar commented on Sonnet 3

    12-20-2010

    oh the realization of love...what more can you ask for?,,,I'm particularly attracted with this line...Love mists the air to swim in your eyes gleam...so romantic...^_^ v
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    RHPeat commented on Sonnet 3

    12-07-2010

    What I find interesting here as a free-verse sonnet with end line rhymes is the strange rhyme scheme that you have created: (xaxabxbxcxcxdd). Ending in a rhyming couplet A very unusual mixture in the structure. I really see the mix fitting to the overall structure of the poem from context to metaphors and music. It is quite the hybrid like a jerky sandwich. And I mean that in a positive way. A Poet friend// RH Peat
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    ESSENCEOFLOVE commented on Sonnet 3

    11-22-2010

    Beautiful! This one showed great emotion, passion, and love. Keep them coming. I love your voice. These beautiful words touched my heart. Thank you for sharing...........E
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    Magician commented on Sonnet 3

    11-06-2010

    Great writing and emotion conveying life real dream is to find someone you love and they are there when you need them Excellent writing
    Reply to Comment

    eddie14 commented on Sonnet 3

    10-20-2010

    wow this was very nice spenc Keep the dream alive
    Reply to Comment

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

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