Sonnet 1

19 Comments

Tags:
  • Romance
    • ,
  • Time
    • ,
  • Nature
    • ,
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    I am writing a series of poems with someone I love very much, I wrote sonnet 1 and she wrote sonnet 2 and we will alternate back and forth and link each poem to the one that follows in the commentary, here is the link to hers, Sonnet 2 - http://www.originalpoetry.com/sonnet-2-my-midnight-sky

    Sonnet 1

    To compare our love to a gardens bloom
    So delicate, and precious of a flower
    Exudes a lovely fragrant perfume
    Which glistens under moonlit rains shower
    Sometimes, too wet the eyes of heaven cries
    Often flooding the very soils of life
    Whilst winds of change blow with intent to divide
    Leaving the garden in perilous strife
    But a love eternal's garden grows on
    Through the winds and the rains of times trials
    Deep seeded roots, gurantee the new dawn
    Death beseiged by our loves stark denials
    So long as the sun rises and sets yet again
    So lives our love, and the memories of when


    Poem Comments

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    Musicmynded1 commented on Sonnet 1

    12-08-2010

    Nice and beautiful sus.. very enjoyable to read.. and its especially nice that a face to go with ur works are here:)
    Reply to Comment

    Helios commented on Sonnet 1

    10-09-2010

    Spence, I seemly adore your use of imagery and the metaphors you have placed within this piece is charming. I just have a few things to say, or maybe I'm too much of a formalist [laugh]. The usual sonnet has its meter and syllables for effective flow [which I see you have incorporated into your piece]. There are places which the flow seems interrupted. For example: "to com PARE our LOVE to a GAR dens BLOOM" or "so DEL i cate, and PRE cious of a FLOwer". I just feel that the accents interfere with your poem's flexibility.
    Reply to Comment

    Springsize commented on Sonnet 1

    10-03-2010

    ok, I have been privy to Sonnet 3 first and so I am reading Sonnet 1 with a more assured understanding and expectation as Reader.... and I like, the best, "deep seated roots, guaranteeing" the dawn's morrow... which is a secure and lasting concept of love...
    Reply to Comment

    Charlie23 commented on Sonnet 1

    09-22-2010

    You have weaved together some of the most beautiful ideas, between the three sonnets... that being said I enjoyed how different each one was from the other.... You are both very talented!
    Reply to Comment

    KellyRedhead commented on Sonnet 1

    09-12-2010

    I'm just gaping. Really. "Which glistens under moonlit rains shower," to me, is the most beautiful and evocative line in the poem. I could see the garden glistening under the moon. Thank you. Kelly
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    SuSpence’s Poems (53)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    Eyes Of Hazel One 6 02/23/2011
    Each New Day 16 01/01/2011
    The Tomorrow Dream 43 12/04/2010
    What See You 19 11/20/2010
    Nirvana (Haiku) 13 10/11/2010
    Sonnet 3 21 09/19/2010
    The Poetry Of Time 33 09/11/2010
    Mirrored Souls 33 09/02/2010
    My Open Broken Heart 20 08/30/2010
    Passing Thoughts 16 08/07/2010
    Sonnet 1 19 08/07/2010
    Ode To My Love 17 07/30/2010
    Angel With Butterfly Wings 20 07/26/2010
    Procrastinati
    on    		 16 07/17/2010
    A Conversation in Appreciation 13 07/13/2010
    Miranda's Song 14 07/11/2010
    The Sarasota Blues 27 06/24/2010
    Highku 22 06/22/2010
    Tripping Stream of Consciousness 35 06/19/2010
    Along The River's Breath 51 06/16/2010
    Sometimes... 37 06/07/2010
    Transport 34 06/03/2010
    Love Never Knows 39 05/25/2010
    SuSpence's Dream 33 05/20/2010
    Ode to the Beatles (acrostic challenge) 18 05/20/2010
    The Generation Who Sold The World 30 05/18/2010
    Christine 24 05/14/2010
    Glenn Beck (Haiku) Compilation 32 05/04/2010
    The Tragic Tale of Alejandro Vega 56 05/03/2010
    Ballad of the Lost Man 32 05/01/2010
    Gulf of Fire (Haiku) 34 04/29/2010
    Fade to White 34 04/23/2010
    Ugly World 53 04/15/2010
    Searchin' for Love 26 04/15/2010
    Lost am I 28 07/07/2009
    Shards of Me 27 07/02/2009
    The Sadness, 10 06/23/2009
    The New Moon 18 06/22/2009
    I Imagine, 13 06/16/2009
    Lovesick, Lonesome Blues 11 06/15/2009
    SIX FOOT 11 06/12/2009
    Beautiful Poet 10 06/12/2009
    The Morning Sun 5 06/10/2009
    A Question for Love 13 06/24/2009
    Realm of Delusion 26 06/08/2009
    Simply Thoughts of You 9 06/05/2009
    Caught Staring 6 06/04/2009
    The Edge of the Headlands 3 06/02/2009
    In My Mind... 15 05/28/2009
    Thoughts of Natalia 14 06/04/2009
    A New Path 10 05/26/2009
    Daydream 12 06/01/2009
    Gone is my Sunshine 17 05/27/2009
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