Silent words slowly heard....

Do you know the horror of worrying about people you love??
Do you realize the torture and fear that piles up???  
Here its been now... 31 hrs and 46 minutes since we last talked?
You were working on no sleep & still had to drive around,
You know we are each others lost and found...

Im really worried about you & I wish you’d call soon,
I wanna hear your sexy voice as i stare at the stars & moon,
I know you are terrified as am I but we both count on the Lord above,
After all he is the only one who can dish out all this newfound love...

But i mean who am i kidding, you already have a comfort zone,
Im just an intruder that silently roams invisible thru your home,
I wander thru your heart as it beats I squeeze tight,
I wanna hold you all day and all night & never let you outta my sight...

Theres no end to how i feel & I get on my knees and kneel,
I know my heart you did steal like a hungry wolf needing a meal, 
I pray you feel the same way to cuz i know in my heart this is all real,
I pray you will find the words to express the way you feel,
I pray God himself will allow it all to clearly reveal....

As I wrote this last night past the stroke of midnight, 
I fell asleep imagining i was staring deep into your eyes,
The feeling left me in a world of comfort and silent sighs,
I shoulda waited for your call cuz you havent failed me yet,
But stupid me Id thought you didnt care and forget...

Now i wake to a name of red with a missed call above your head,
I am devetated i failed you and didnt stay awake a few more seconds,
I am even more hurt that you didnt leave a message,
I really am glad to know you are ok but you still leave me on the edge....

So many things i wanna say to you and do for you,
But you leave me blind and trapped like a lion caged in a zoo,
Why cant I express to everyone and you how amazing you make me feel??
God knows this love i have for you is rare and real, 
I think you know it too cuz you stole my heart of steel,
And its time you know I am like a banana you slowly peel...

This may not make sense but its like you are a drug and I am addicted,
I get all dizzy and lose my mind and feel like i am on cloud nine,
I wanna kiss you all the time and make you all mine,
I know You are the only cure to this addiction you created within me,
Its up to you though to fully give it to me freely,
I am feigning and i need you right now badly,
So hurry up & rescue me please My dearest Love Johnnie.... 
  
***Maybe I shouldnt say this but something magical happens when we kiss and its heavenly bliss so here it goes, 

P.S. To my Sweet Sexy Man, 
You are the love of my life and I wish I was your wife, 
You are my angel of love to help me thru all my hardship and strife,
I know God gave me you even though I dont deserve you,
But love has no guidelines and I am madly in love with you,
You are my first love, my only love, I swear that much is true,
I will never love another not the way I love you, 
I cant explain the unbelievable feelings flowing thru my veins,
But my love for you far exceeds all my pain, 
I have loved you with every breath I have taken,
I know now that there is definatly no mistaken,
When we are together I feel forever,
Johnnie Andrew Clair, I love you and I'm not willing to share, 
I feel like we are meant to be together forever,
I feel like you are cheating on me with her,
It's not fair either and I dont know when or if I'll be able to give you this letter, 
Its heartbreaking knowing what you are doing,
Devastatingly painful to know what's occurring😭😭,
But because I wasnt first, this pain i am forced to endure, 
All i can do is hope & pray that you are the cure, 
I beleive you are cuz I see nothing but you as my man in the future,
I know you are cuz Gods telling me you are the one,
It's hard for me to accept as well cuz I'm no one,
I'm just a worthless peice of crap taking up space,
I'm a loser at every single game and race....
But I'll admit, I saw heaven when i saw your beautiful face,
You are the second best person in my life,
Nothing & no one else can compare to this heavenly high,
I am addicted & I feel like you give me wings so I can fly, 
Johnnie, you are the only man I see in my eyes,
I just pray you have not & will not ever tell me lies???
You may be gone now but I will never say goodbye.... 
You are & always will be the only lover on my mind...
I will love you now and forever on earth & in heaven,
In my mind you are my one & only future husband..... 😘