The Dead of Night

12 Comments

Tags:
  • Family
    • ladydraeko
    • What a year...and it keeps getting better...

    Poem Commentary

    Losing a loved one

    The Dead of Night

    The darkness came and with it flashing lights
    The sirens could be heard for miles and miles
    As red and white lights danced on the sides of the building
    There was only one to meet them, as such the lil child

    Dashing to and fro, collectively working as one
    They rushed to find her, laying on the cold hard floor
    Confusion, chaos momentarily spared
    One by one they hustled through the front door

    Tools of the trade whisked out of pockets and boxes
    Checking her, listening, straining waiting for that breath
    Shades of grey consumed her, sunken eyes spoke
    What was the lil one seeing could it be signs of death

    Her hair a nest, her clothes gargantuan
    She stayed right by her side on the frigid solid ground
    Soft spoken words barely audible said "please take me to bed"
    As the hustle and bustle came to an end lil one turned around

    The flickering of the stars in the sky was all that remained
    No sirens, no lights, no help on this day
    Lil one went back inside sneaking almost slithering like a snake
    To where she was, laying in bed because she had gotten her way.

    Not once, not twice but three times that night
    The chaos in harmony appeared
    Lil one wanted someone to grab onto
    To reach out and say there's nothing to fear

    Faces appeared, disappeared, came and went
    In the midst of the frantic movements each one took
    Lil one questioned, pondered and spoke
    But no one was listening, just writing in their book

    A new face arrived, familar and kind
    Go slumber lil one, it's time for you to rest
    Imagine unicorns and ponies when your eyelids close
    In the wake of day you shall be at your best

    Sweet dreams and fantasies would not arrive
    Demons and fiery monsters abounded
    Finally slumber crept up upon her
    But in the morning her room was surrounded

    Faces of family tore through her home
    Not caring that lil one slept like a mouse
    All the disturbance and noise that they made
    Would have woken the dead inside the house

    6/2/09

    Poem Comments

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    Paolo commented on The Dead of Night

    06-08-2009

    The story telling of this poem is at times as frenzied as the events in it and contributes to the content of the story. I like that I am left in a place of wondering what this is about for so long, it increased my desire to know. While there are some tiny things that didn't seem to work for my reading, I couldn't suggest changing them for fear it may change the spirit of the poem. I'd read this poem often as I am still unsure as perhaps the lil one may feel.

    FindingJune commented on The Dead of Night

    06-04-2009

    This is not typical of what I like to read. However, your imagery here is strong and carries the story quite well. My one suggestion...in a poem such as this, punctuation is almost a to maintain the flow. Otherwise, I enjoyed this one.

    BDIsernhagen commented on The Dead of Night

    06-04-2009

    Blue. dont' know why, but I think of blue, and the iages of this poem are seen in a shade of blue to me. I enjoyed being taken a long for the ride, but if the noise didn't awaken her, and it could have awaoken the dead... is that to say she died?

    jenifer commented on The Dead of Night

    06-04-2009

    this one confused me some, at first i thought this one was bout abuse ,and then maybe dreams. but its good , keep writing

    jmylez commented on The Dead of Night

    06-03-2009

    wow like the story very deep n from ones's point-of-view,some times life is like that no one know wat u go though in the night and in the mornin they surrounds you,,,love ur poem.

    A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

    ladydraeko’s Poems (22)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Amigo Mio 6
    Little Girl Lost 13
    Going Fishing 3
    Questions Abound 7
    Dancing with Mommy 9
    The First Birthday 8
    True Love and sweet bitterness 19
    To the sea 14
    Dear Mommy 14
    Choices 12
    The Ocean 5
    Who Am I? 12
    Following Me... 5
    Awake From Darkness 5
    Infinite 19
    The Dead of Night 12
    Life quickly changes - The story continues - 3
    The Search Complete 14
    My Hidden Self 6
    I love you 9
    Darkness Emerges 8
    Silent Serpent 21