I try to talk to you but my throat closes around the words. If you knew what I needed to say, I can only hope you’d agree. Imperativeness haunts my thoughts, but disappears when I open my mouth. It lingers on my tongue but never passes my lips. I say hi but never more. As much as I want you to know as hard as I try I don’t have the courage. If only these words written would meet your eyes but the notebook stays clutched in my hand, zipped in my purse. For my eyes only. The words that should grace my lips are only the thoughts that grace my mind and the lined white page. A battle rages on inside me, part of me wants to proclaim this to you, the other shies at the sound of your voice. My friends say I need to do this on my own, my own says I need my friends. For what I want I cannot have, for what I need I cannot get. As the caged bird sings the free bird fly lonely longing for a companion. For you I could write a book, but only hi escapes.