forgiving you

this day i never cared to remember
this date that has caused a void in my life
for half my young life
i never knew of your existance
never gave a thought as to why
my name was diffrent then theirs
then one day i lost someone dear
that day they confessed i broke down in tears
that void i never thought about
made its presence known loud and clear
for years i learned more about you
for years my hatred grew
year after year i never gave
a second thought
this day that marked your passing
had no significance to me
yet as the years went by
i thought of what could have been
i thought of what might have been
i hated that i never knew
i hated that they kept it from me
i hated knowing id never know you
but i hated you the most
why did you get your self killed
why were you not more carefull
did you love me at all
years of wondering
if i mattred at all
i stopped listening when
they talked about you
but today i realized
that in letting go of my pain
letting go of my hurt and anger
that in doing this i never realized
i had forgiven you long ago
so here i sit on ur day of remembrence
wishing id have known you
but also hoping to be forgiven
for taking so long
in forgiving you