And God Said 'NO'

Years ago
I did hurt so
And I asked God
To heal me.

Take my life
My strength
My children
I will follow
Please help me.

Time had passed
And I forgot
Promises
That I felt not.

Then it came
And horror struck
Not my son!
[The cancer struck.]

Falling down
I came to beg
Please take me
I must 'reneg.'

And God said no.
We made a deal.
All you have,
So you can heal.

Fiercely, as I
Casted blame
How could you
Do nothing then?

What is wrong with you?
I said
I must follow
As I'm led...
To THIS?!

And God said no.
I'll tell you this.
Take this chance
This final kiss
To say
Goodbye.

You must let go.
He is mine
You told me so.

It isn't up to you,
I say.
Not this moment.
Not today.

I will, although
And I'll do this-
I'll change things
So he can live.

You must go on
And focus now.
You will trust me.
You'll know how.

Turning back
I felt alone.
Not too proud, and
Only scorned.

Hating God
I'll tell you this.
Time has gone
But there's no bliss.

Drugs are gone.
I kept my end
Of things not broken,
Only bent.

Promise made
To him, my son
I'll get better
As it's done.

Slow, it seems
Too much, in fact
God makes up
For what I lack.

Anger fills my gut
But then
There's blossoms too
When there's no end.

Cause seeds, they fall
And winter comes
Breaking though
The bones that mourn.

Spring comes forward
From the ground.
Newness rises
From the sound.

It's lifted up
Into the air
Breathing life
Through it's despair.

6-27-09