untitled......once again...

4 Comments

Tags:
  • It Is What It Is...

    Poem Commentary

    so....i decided to try out a little bit of rhyme....it's not what i usually do.....but i'm trying to break out of what i'm used to....let me know what you think!

    untitled......once again...

     taking my wind
    a blow from the side
    where do i land
    with everything combined
    into moments open wide
    and a whirling collide
    pieces break and crack
    here's when we decide
    is it worth all the holes
    all the wreckage inside
    broken words-tattered bandages
    what will they find
    in a dream in a motion
    in the collapse of our minds
    with eyes shut
    with eyes fluttering
    with eyes open wide

    Poem Comments

    (4)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    dahlusion commented on untitled......once again...

    10-21-2010

    "all the wreckage inside" —WOW! This piece moves like a finely tuned sports car. Would love to hear you read this. Bravo!! Peace and Light, dah
    Reply to Comment

    arronpalmer commented on untitled......once again...

    10-20-2010

    Good first stab. It reads like you selected your words carefully, whilst also having an air of streaming conciousness to it. Love it.
    Reply to Comment

    lorenzo commented on untitled......once again...

    04-17-2010

    me likes this...it's unique...cool...cryptic...offbeat....
    Reply to Comment

    ReelLife commented on untitled......once again...

    04-16-2010

    I really like your style of writing and combination of words. You paint a picture in every selected word and it flows wonderfully, great job! I look forward to reading more of your masterpieces!
    Reply to Comment

    The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

    Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

    simplypeace’s Poems (26)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    haiku 2 02/03/2011
    the risk (new revised version) 0 01/17/2011
    him 3 11/01/2010
    if i could talk 3 10/31/2010
    the choice 1 10/21/2010
    untitled.....
    .once again...    		 4 04/16/2010
    youth 3 03/26/2010
    the risk 2 03/22/2010
    stolen 4 08/16/2009
    out of life 1 06/10/2009
    truth 1 06/10/2009
    naked cigarettes 2 06/10/2009
    a new silence 2 06/10/2009
    the meeting 10 04/09/2009
    often and then 15 04/08/2009
    dead girls are easy 13 04/08/2009
    mine 5 04/07/2009
    untitled 6 7 04/05/2009
    accusations in peace 5 04/04/2009
    untitled 5 6 03/07/2009
    untitled 4 4 03/07/2009
    untitled 3 4 03/07/2009
    untitled 2 3 03/07/2009
    untitled 4 03/07/2009
    haiku 6 03/07/2009
    unconditional 7 03/06/2009
    Top of Page