I went for a routine physical

Just the usual stuff

That calls for swabs and latex gloves

Indignities in the buff

A little plastic sample jar

With a fill line on the side

A private moment in the loo

With a stern nurse just outside

No monkey business mind you

Don’t want no phlegm-like ooze

Don’t sneak in foreign substances

Like your favorite Christmas booze

Well, I waited for the lab reports

In that hour while you wait

A technologic efficiency

That all health plans now mandate

I read all the screen-filled e-zines

On my i-phone’s scrunchy screen

Until my name was called in promise

That ‘twas my turn to be seen.

The doctor nodded sagely as

He scanned my lab report

But his sotto declaration

Brought my lolling mind up short

“You’re deficient in oxytocin,

We can provide you with a shot

But come back in ten days hence

So we see just what you’ve got.”

The pricking needle startled me

Not so much so my behind

But as I left the office I soon found

Something playing on my mind

That bookish girl with glasses

In the cubicle next door

Seemed suddenly attractive

In a way not sensed before.

I asked her out for dinner

She flashed a knowing smile

And said, “I’d really loved to”

As if she’d been waiting for awhile

We had oursleves some weekend

You can imagine how it went

But on Monday, work was calling

Even though I felt all spent

So I came arriving early, and

Hoped to catch my newfound miss

And watched her dropped off by my doc

With a hug and then a kiss

I confronted in the privacy

Of the elevator, frankly mad

But she just calmly swished her hair,

“Silly, that was just my Dad!”