Should

7 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
    • ,
  • Fantasy
    • ,
  • Romance

    Poem Commentary

    I am honored to say that "Should" is a collaboration between Marsink and myself. This was a poem in progress that Marsink had abandoned; I read it and loved it, added to it, and suggested the obvious title, We tossed around some ideas and changes, edited it together, and brought it to life to share with our OP friends.

    Should
    Should the sun tempt by offering radiance,
    I shall be content with your joyous smile
    Should dazzling stars wing thoughts to unseen skies,
    Transport sweetens through promising eyes

    Should this world’s wiles encamp to vanquish
    I strengthen by your constant faithfulness
    Should another maiden pass: paused before gaze
    I shall flee from her, you are vision's praise

    Should rhythms, leap wild, hypnotic aural fountains
    Cryptic treasure sought in crags dark mountains
    To discourage, dismay from ardent display
    Haste is my friend, love calls stronger today

    Should temptation descend on great eagle wing
    Wielding seduction cloaked scantily in mist
    I’ll search crystal moonlight for your secret cloud
    Taking flight as one, my love openly avowed.

    Poem Comments

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    Olan01 commented on Should

    01-31-2011

    Dear Julieann, This poem is a wonderful collaborative poem filled with strong metaphors of commitment and of fleeing temptations; I love this poem. Olan.
    Reply to Comment

    julieannetx

    02/01/2011

    Thank you so much! It was an honor doing the collaboration with Marsink and I'm so pleased with the reaction it has received.

    Olan01

    02/01/2011

    it is deserving of praise for it is well written and conveys many meanings for the reader to interpret.

    Madelynn commented on Should

    01-21-2011

    I think the lyrics here are absolutely breathtaking sister. Now I struggled some with your metering- only cause Im such a weirdo- but then I seen your unique pattern.. really cool; you rhymed off the last two lines of the first quad, and the last two of the last quad, and then rhymed off the body of the work with AA BB style- It really works!! I have recently found my new favorite poet (next to Poe) his name is Henry VanDyke- his metering styles, and poetic messages, are off the freakin chain- seriously julie, this guys the shit- ya gotta check him out! Anyhoots- love this, the poem truely took me away- thanks for sharing friend!-Maddi
    Reply to Comment

    julieannetx

    02/01/2011

    Woo hoo! Thanks Maddi!

    kdarcy commented on Should

    01-08-2011

    One puts the wax on, anothers wipes it off ... who did the work ? The ever brighter shine showed through because of the two, well done, be well the two of you k
    Reply to Comment

    ginga commented on Should

    01-08-2011

    oh Julie and Marsink this one is a beautiful sentiment that I am personally glad to have had you resurrect together. The flow and nature reference have transcended me. ty dear poets ginga
    Reply to Comment

    julieannetx

    01/08/2011

    Thank you but Marsink is the true master! I am proud of our joint effort.

    BrokenHeart2009 commented on Should

    01-07-2011

    This poem is very mystical and playful. My imagination takes this poem to a forrest filled with magic and love:)
    Reply to Comment

    julieannetx

    01/07/2011

    Thanks for reading!

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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