RE: Limericks

While Gogant accuses me of smoking
I do hope the young man is joking
because I hang with the townies
and munch on pot brownies
and never have to bother with toking

RE: RE: Limericks

RE: Limericks

I'll dedicate this to Herr Yon........

A young cowgirl from Sioux City
Who was born with only one titty
Said to the town’s deacon
Don’t think ‘bout peekin’
Cause my chest is a real ditty.

RE: Limericks

At a dive down in old Ensenada
Boz ordered the pork enchilada
From the meat in that dina’
He developed trichina
And giardia from drinkin’ the wata’

RE: Limericks

GOOD one Harver!

(Although the neighbors south of you aren't wanting to be smiling I'm thinkin'.)

RE: Limericks

As Henry the batchelor got older
The questions gals asked him got bolder
Like white-haired Bernice,
Who asked, “Boxers or briefs?”
“Just Depends,” was all that he told her.

RE: Limericks

One day in May I’ve heard them say
When the flowers come out to play
One hides their true love
From the one up above
And wilt with the fading of day.

.....................................gogant

RE: Limericks

There dwelt a fair maiden in heaven
Who outshined the star of Drayden
God turned to her and said he
With a quick wink and a plea
Get off of my cloud, my fair maiden.

................................gogant

RE: Limericks

I knew a girl who could twirl
and she loved to show the whole world
but at last when she stopped
her panties would drop
and the world did gasp at her curls

©dah 2010

Last edited by dahlusion 02-08-2010 at 04:59:07 PM

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by dahlusion

I knew a girl who could twirl
and she loved to show the whole world
but at last when she stopped
her panties would drop
and the world did gasp at her curls

©dah 2010

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarverTomsson

As Henry the batchelor got older
The questions gals asked him got bolder
Like white-haired Bernice,
Who asked, “Boxers or briefs?”
“Just Depends,” was all that he told her.

RE: Limericks

A brewery in Kalamazoo
Lost a worker in a vat of home brew
Though they pulled him out twice
He had fallen in thrice
Finally becoming a part of the goo

RE: Limericks

).

THANKS, Aggreprof,

Jamaica has some pretty juicy ones which I dare not quote here,and many observe no metrical rules, what you mentioned in your article on Limericks, One of the tamest I can safely quote, is actually inscribed on a stone monument in St. Thomas parish, Jamaica. (I have never` been to see it) There are versions, as to be expected:


Let fart be free
Wherever you be,
For fart it was you see
She wouldn't let be
That killed poor Mary Lee.

Last edited by cousinsoren 02-17-2010 at 05:49:58 PM

RE: Limericks

[

THANKS, Aggreprof,

Jamaica has some pretty juicy ones which I dare not quote here,and many observe no metrical rules, what you mentioned in your article on Limericks, One of the tamest I can safely quote, is actually inscribed on a stone monument in St. Thomas parish, Jamaica. (I have never` been to see it) There are versions, as to be expected:
Let fart be free
Wherever you be,
For fart it was you see
She wouldn't let be
That killed poor Mary Lee.




Here are two of my favourites.

There was a girl name Puncy
Who was very wild and sprucy..
When she saw the parson's jock,
She fell over a rock
And over her head went her frock.


There was a drunk named Percy
Who leaned on a dripping pipe to pee.
He opened his fly
And couldn't tell why
To piss he couildn't stop.

Aye ! Yahee! Eh-eh!
_______________________________________________________________


[/quote]

Last edited by cousinsoren 02-17-2010 at 05:55:18 PM

RE: Re: Limericks

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

There dwelt a fair maiden in heaven
Who outshined the star of Drayden
God turned to her and said he
With a quick wink and a plea
Get off of my cloud, my fair maiden.

................................gogant

RE: Limericks

I'm tired of spending my time
putting these words to rhyme
the style appears sloppy
the timing's too choppy
and the whole thing ain't worth a dime


(so why do I keep writing these huh?? lol)

RE: Limericks - Shout out to Blue Heron

I limerick writer- Blue Heron
Couldn’t write out his lines without swearin’
But he avoided insanity,
As well as profanity,
Once he shrugged, and simply stopped carin’.

RE: Limericks

Hmmmmm, let's see...................

A rumpled old bloke from Cancun
Strolled into a corner saloon
With a grin full of teeth
Sighed he with relief
Si senior, wake me up at noon.

RE: Limericks

A drunk ivey leager from Yale
Awoke from a night in the jail
For his shamed alma mater
He only drank water
At least, till he posted his bail.

RE: Limericks

Hey Harver...you think that one was corny.................

An extremely fat pututti
Who thought she was a real beauty
Sat down with a thump
On her big fat rump
And crapped all over her booty

The screwier the funnier........................................gogant

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by gogant

Hey Harver...you think that one was corny.................

An extremely fat pututti
Who thought she was a real beauty
Sat down with a thump
On her big fat rump
And crapped all over her booty

The screwier the funnier........................................gogant

RE: Limericks

There once was a fine Irish Lass
who claimed to have the finest ass
the boys all stood in line
to see what was so fine
but then it brayed and they said...we'll pass!

RE: RE: Limericks

Quote:

Originally Posted by SavVySam

There once was a fine Irish Lass
who claimed to have the finest ass
the boys all stood in line
to see what was so fine
but then it brayed and they said...we'll pass!

RE: Limericks

I recall an older version of that one:

There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass
Not pretty and pink
As you'd probably think
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.