wtf?

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    Poem Commentary

    something would give by now....

    wtf?

     given ,he is tasteless and i forbiddon to suggest
    but,there has to be some sort of beating ,pounding  in his chest
    something sacred ,something honorable , something in between
    forever he has driven chaos and torn  at  the  seams
    it would only prove out of chararter for this man to realize ...things put forth in front of him he can only seein gisguise ...unfolding into his demise...

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    royston commented on wtf?

    08-25-2013

    greetings- you seem very poetical but you must learn the abc's of the craft to give voice and learn to spell young lady.forbidden not don,honorable has left the u out unless it is american spelling, what is charater-do you mean character?what is seein gisuise, do you mean disguise? this is a pity because for once i read poetry here,potentially. best wishes roy
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    charmlessman2d commented on wtf?

    08-03-2011

    the rhythm of these words hits home, pounding. lovely choice of words. they all flow together so well. getting your point across simply and earnestly. great job. keep it up.
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    redbloodink commented on wtf?

    12-03-2009

    wow that was powerful....... a pure simple write .... Red..
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    redbloodink

    12/22/2009

    well my name is for the pain that I went through

    jadienblu

    12/05/2009

    i see red also!...lol

    edb6163 commented on wtf?

    11-05-2009

    Hi Jadienblu, It has been a while since I have visited the site so forgive me for not giving more feedback. This poem is good. I believe it is more of a first or second draft but the core is very powerful. For you, my suggestion would be to stay away from end-rhymes or any type of structure and just prose or free-verse. I think your strength will be in free-verse. This is what I got out of this poem--- synopsis "His words, each less honorable then the last, pound and resonate with agony. A chaos has overcome me, I am hopeless, alone." An excellent sentiment... Your friend, Ed
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    Troubador commented on wtf?

    07-29-2009

    This seems more of a soliloque rather than poetic device yet it screams with notice that your unhappiness is prevalent through these words.
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    jadienblu

    07/29/2009

    YES....UNHAPPY

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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