Dead Man's dance

3 Comments

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  • Anger
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  • Sadness
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  • Other
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  • Dark Poetry

    Poem Commentary

    Morbidly beautiful, don't you think? I hope you enjoy the way I layed this one out. I tried to paint a bit of a morbid picture with this poem.

    Dead Man's dance

     

    The shadows are dark, the light is bright

    There is nothing left to know.

    I fall into oblivion, I am lost,

    most would die of fright.

     

    I try to walk, I try to scream

    I can barely yell

    I am dead, in this unknown

    is this heaven, or hell?

     

    I hear the bells, as they ring

    they begin to hurt my ears

    All this darkness, all this fear

    is masked as the demons sing.

     

    I fall and fall, I try to call

    I call out to my God

    He's turned his back, he's turned his heart

    I had killed them all.

     

    The kids all cry, the teachers mourn

    at the lost of their fallen

    they don't care, they don't care

    they only want to scorn

     

    The shadows are dark, the light is bright

    There is nothing left to know.

    I am dead, and so is she

     we both lost the fight.

    Poem Comments

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    wolfnomad commented on Dead Man's dance

    10-04-2009

    Morbidly Beautiful is right. You express yourself wonderfully with your words.
    Reply to Comment

    rougepriest commented on Dead Man's dance

    10-02-2009

    a few grammatical errors that kinda hurt it at the lost of their fallen should be just ,at the loss........I can barely yell, may be better as, barley walk, so it rhymes.........the last line starting at we, has 1 syllable to many, so...... there is no fight ,works good. all in all very good
    Reply to Comment

    Venom637

    10/02/2009

    thank you for pointing those out, I probably wouldn't have noticed them.

    lunamarie commented on Dead Man's dance

    10-02-2009

    Dear Venom, As I was reading this, it was reminding me of a poem I wrote last month. I didn't post it yet. I have this shy problem. Anyway, some of the words we used were the same and ideas too ... hmmm ... so, of course, I like your poem ... Luna
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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